#haikumoviereview
Naked You Die (Margheriti, 1968)

Much less nudity
than you’d think. Forget the main
character. Go, Jill!

#haikumoviereview
Corpse Eaters (Passmore & Vetter, 1974)

Too much narrating
while driving and not enough
of the corpse eating.

#haikumoviereview
Cake of Blood (various, 1971)

If Ingmar Bergman
were Spanish and loved tortured,
whispered narration.

#haikumoviereview
The First Nudie Musical (Haggard & Kimmel, 1976)

Not all the jokes are
wieners but, with what they have,
they give their breast shot.

#haikumoviereview
Clown in a Cornfield (Craig, 2025)

Don’t know manual
or rotary phones; kids these
days just won’t cut it.

#haikumoviereview
Until Dawn (Sandberg, 2025)

Watching the same bland
teens die in the same bland ways
equals beige horror.

#haikumoviereview
Handsome Devil (Butler, 2016)

Sweet British gay boys
in one of those feel-good tales
that turns sweet boys gay.

#haikumoviereview
The Woman in the Yard (Collet-Serra, 2025)

Spooky goings-on
down at Ol' Tragedy Farm.
Pretty obvious.

#haikumoviereview
Play Dead (Wittman, 1983)

Why did Rottweiler
Greta never reach slasher
icon status? Bitch.

#haikumoviereview
Dogs of Hell (Keeter, 1983)

Lake Lure: home of
combustible cars, walking
parcels of dog chow.

#haikumoviereview
Dogs (Brinckerhoff, 1976)

What’s causing canine
mischief? Pheromones? Hippies?
Awkward dialogue?

#haikumoviereview
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (Harrington, 1978)

That puppy’s sparkling
eyes means that he’s the bestest
boy of the devil.

#haikumoviereview
Dracula's Fiancée (Rollin, 2002)

A double-barreled
shotgun of carnivalesque
Gothic tragedy.

#haikumoviereview
Two Orphan Vampires (Rollin, 1997)

Blinded by the light,
and at night, there’s only blue.
Take care, amour fou.

#haikumoviereview
The Living Dead Girl (Rollin, 1982)

The dead grow human,
and the human become dead
inside: lost, lovelorn.

#haikumoviereview
Fascination (Rollin, 1979)

Gorgeous French bodies
in gorgeous French gowns, for now
filled with yummy blood.

#haikumoviereview
The Grapes of Death (Rollin, 1978)

Hordes of French Crazies,
drunk on tainted red wine, find
terroir in their blood.

#haikumoviereview
Lips of Blood (Rollin, 1975)

Vampires wearing
diaphanous gowns almost
find a narrative.

#haikumoviereview
Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (Rollin, 1973)

Rollin sans horror
is little more than softcore,
jazzy frolicking.

#haikumoviereview
Requiem for a Vampire (Rollin, 1971)

Dialogue-light romp
of boobs and fangs doesn’t beat
around the bat-bush.

#haikumoviereview
The Shiver of the Vampires (Rollin, 1971)

Vampires be damned!
Here’s some art-directed shots
of a French castle

#haikumoviereview
The Nude Vampire (Rollin, 1970)

Vampires or cult
hippies: guess who’s the nudest?
Tricked you! They’re the same!

#haikumoviereview
Arctic Void (Mann, 2022)

Havana Syndrome,
now in bare, snowy Norway
with cold, sad men.

#haikumoviereview
28 Years Later (Boyle, 2025)

Zombies: opposed to
memento mori? Ralph Fiennes
reminds you, sadly.

#haikumoviereview
Too Scared to Scream (Lo Bianco, 1984)

High-rise set Psycho—
gay-coded characters not
expected to live.

#haikumoviereview
The Wild Robot (Sanders, 2024)

The Iron Giant
meets Zootopia, it’s true;
yet heartstrings were tugged.

#haikumoviereview
Creeping Death (Sampere, 2023)

If the Celts can’t get
their land back, at least don’t run
roughshod on their lore?

#haikumoviereview
Sequence Break (Skipper, 2017)

Videodrome with
arcade games and Williamson’s
ecstatic O-face.

#haikumoviereview
Dead Mail (DeBoer & McConaghy, 2024)

To send a letter
with no fixed destination
except obsession.

#haikumoviereview
Curse of the Devil (Aured, 1973)

Witchy gypsy curse,
Walpurgis, werewolf, madman:
this one has it all.