Cash Hartzell

Americas #1 talk show host.

“I was just following otters.”

•*• Funny-Presence4228 LPT: How to win as a guest and make new friends at a raging, alcohol fuelled party Food & Drink I'm getting older now, and some of my friends' kids have recently started college. I've been reliably told that alcohol-fuelled parties are still happening, and I shared this advice about how to make new friends and be a hero. One of them took my advice, and now has a new girlfriend because of this. The key to the following advice is an element of secrecy because the surprise makes it even better. Arrive late and sneak Lasagna into the party. I mean, taking a large, catering-sized tray of lasagna, along with a stack of paper plates and forks, to a raging house party. I used to do this back in college. I'd make one, sometimes two, in the afternoon in big foil trays before goin to a party. Show up around 10.30pm, and slip them into the oven without asking permission telling anyone. Medium heat for 30 minutes to warm it up. Get my paper plates out, and shout: "Lasagna is ready" to a packed house of drunk people, and hand them all a fork. It's cheaper than bringing beer, no clean-up, and I got laid pretty often. Important note: Make sure the person who owns the oven is the first in the line, and don't make a mess. Maybe make one meat and one vegan or something... This last point was less of a concern back in my day, but we must move with the times.

tfw you’re fucking the lasagna man for lasagna

Todd Snider - Play A Train Song Todd Snider performs at Front Porch House Concerts in Boulder Colorado - March 2007.

He had lost and he was finding the strength, sometimes in the writing of the song, to be in the world with his loss. He kept me sane and connected to the world. He passed today. Thanks for the help

www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D...

In 2021 I lost my best friend. During COVID and living hundreds of miles away, I wasn’t close enough to mourn with my and his friends. The music of Todd Snider was one of the things that kept me going. His songs and stories are the products of a man who has mourned.

Oh man. Todd Snider. Rest in Peace. What a talent gone too soon.

If you weee building a super powered guitarist, you’d offhandedly say “it’s like he was taught how to play guitar as a child by Jimi Hendrix”. Ernie Eisley was taught to play guitar as a child by Jimi Hendrix.

Sports is an escapist wish-fulfillment fantasy world where people who suck at their jobs get fired, people who are good at them get paid extremely well, and there exists an extensive infrastructure to identify, develop, and mentor talent

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

Jury nullification is good and it's a good sign for America's path out of authoritarianism that juries are recognizing their power to nullify.

The jury determined that the launching of the 12 inch deli sandwich from what the government described as “point blank range” was not an attempt to cause injury

As a Royals fan, you almost never even have to think about baseball, much less the individual players.

Homey literally said "touch mass"

I don’t need a movie about Bruce Springsteen. I need a movie about what the hell happened to the chicken man.

I know it’s too much to expect them to know their history, but if the American Revolution had a motto, it definitely would not have been “immigrants go home.”

It would have been “get your fucking soldiers out of our cities.”

This thread makes a point I find myself coming to often these days.

It's hard to make this point in a way that doesn't sound like a threat, but it's just a fact that for centuries the wealthy in America worried that the mob would come get them and did all they could to avoid that fate.

Brilliant idea, incredible execution, absolutely a statue of Watto from Episode I

No article about Don Mattingly post playing days is complete without mentioning the time he visited the mound twice in one at bat while managing the Dodgers and was forced to take out his pitcher and replace him with an unwarmed bullpen arm. The HOF funniest thing in baseball, first ballot.

Jason Vorhees has over 140 kills in the Friday the 13th franchise, which means there are probably more movies about him in that universe than we have in ours

They’re called bellhops. The front is just where they hang out.

We must all rally behind America’s Team: the Toronto Blue Jays

Rolling Stone excerpt about Montana’s ballot initiative to combat Citizens United

This is the best political news I’ve seen in a very long time — so please pass it on👇

Each state can limit Citizens United in their own state & they don’t have to wait for other states to do it.

Our new @rollingstone.com piece based on our new book MASTER PLAN. Get the book at LeverNews.com/book

How do you do that? Opening other people’s mail seems like the most fun thing.

Marlins Man is 100% in the Epstein Files. I’ve never been more confident of anything.

Portland never stops being Portland.

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

Nothing like a guy hitting .100 lecturing you on how you can do your job better.

Cool. The job killing robot is immune from laws. Wonder how much the company charged the passenger for the time the car was pulled over?