Chris Breen

Get Your Phil Volume 1, Issue 1

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Sunset over infinity pool

While Rome burns

Yep. I had the first attack repaired and a week later on come the lights.

Hondas and Toyotas in the last few years, yes. But also Tesla (which doesn’t make me too sad). The insurance industry has tried to sue manufacturers over this cuz it’s costing them a fortune.

Been there twice. It’s the soy material wrapped around the wires. Good news is that insurance covers it (after deductible). We ended up buying Coverseal car covers, which are weighted at the bottom to keep out rodents. So far so good, but stealable if you park on city streets.

Headline reads “Why has student achievement has fallen off a cliff.”

Let me suggest that it isn’t just students, dear headline writer.

I know I’m late to the party when I say the French spy series, The Bureau, is a wonderful watch. One of the best things I’ve seen this year.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but unlike the president, I’m not mentioned anywhere in the Epstein files.

Not another nickel to the Democrats. FU ACT BLUE

Man oh man, whoever rigged these elections did a hell of a job.

Celebrating a very important death today.

Andrew Cuomo’s political future.

Wait, what were you thinking?

Big turnout in Santa Cruz #NoKings

Is “ACTUALLY, I HATE WHAT AMERICA HAS BECOME” too long for a sign?

Look, just release the Epstein files already. We’re well past the point where Trump’s “Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it?” response will cause a ripple in the GOP. At this point Johnson and Thune will demand a National Pedophiles Day.

If I’m reading this correctly, Republican leaders prefer to keep the government shut down because the President is a pedophile.

Seems like that deserves a headline or two.

Awaiting the “Okay okay, Kimmel’s back. How about we put this whole Unsubscribe thing behind us, eh?” email from Disney.

Followed by multiple emails dropping the price lower, lower, oh my god so low.

Sending a message. Buh bye Disney/Hulu

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The Apple User Guides for 26:

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Wait, you mean it was some bro dipshit and not Joe Biden, George Soros, and Hillary Clinton acting as one? #KnockMeOverWithAFeather

I never considered that “Forward, Back To The Middle Ages” could be a viable Republican platform. #ConsiderMeWrong

Query asking if swollen ankles are a sign of a fatal heart condition

Asking for a nation of friends.

It’s a little late for disgruntled Trump voters to protest, “Waiter, there’s Hitler in this soup. I definitely ordered the Mussolini.”

Photo of night sky with many stars

Warm clear night

To complement Apple’s Hard to Swallow week, look for Cafe Macs to offer Gristle Pie and Fatty Fatback to employees who just aren’t quite fed up enough.

Graph of Tesla stock tanking.

Die! Tesla! Die! Summer edition

Black and white photo of Canadian mountains, Washinon trees.

More from the north

Ms. Yaccarino is stepping down to spend more time with the vast empty void that is her soul.

What is it about Trump cabinet members and Congressional toadies that makes their smug faces so invitingly slappable?

If I have this right, Elon appeals to:

1. Shitbag tech bros
2. Ill-informed Republicans

Which means his political party splits off a sizeable portion of MAGA, leaving Democrats to win the day.

Go, Elon, go!