Philip Michaels

AAND THEY’RE DANCING ATOP THE CLAM BAR AT IVAR’S!

“Please stop dancing on my clams,“ the owner begs them. “I’ll be ruined.”

Since this game began, I have:
• Written a Tom’s Guide article
• Dropped my daughter off at her homecoming game
• Taken my wife out for pho
• Gone for a swim

Did she mark the start of shoe innings by singing “Sir, I want to buy these shoes” from the terrible “Christmas Shoes” song? Folks, you know the answer.

Back when I had A’s season tickets, the deal I struck with @lschmeiser.bsky.social was that if a game went extras and we stayed, for every 3 innings, she got to buy new shoes.

This is now the rare, costly double shoe game.

We’re an inning away from Rob Manfred declaring a winner based on a complicated formula involving revenue generating opportunities.

So, like, the Yankees.

Portland Thorns shirt

Local Man Dons Colors of Portland Group that Doesn’t Truck With Fascists

Wow, I guess oceans truly are battlefields these days.

"Makes people in Philadelphia happy" -- OK, that's starting to explain things.

I admit to not being a Ball Knower, and I'm a guy who screams himself horse at every Cal game shouting "Give it to a fat man!" on fourth-and-inches plays, but I do not understand the antipathy that everyone seems to have for this play.

The obvious answer is that Jack would insist upon a week of shows live from Riyadh, much to Liz's dismay (until she got a look at the swag bag)

The Island of Doctor Moreau (1996)

Today's bothersome rooster is tomorrow's delicious coq au vin.

Oh yeah? How many fishermen has she attacked without evidence? Does she even have an army of masked goons to roust The Other? The Nobel Prize used to mean something, man.

Well just wait until I line up funding for my gritty 1776 reboot.

ONE PERFECT SHOT: Wilford Brimley in HARD TARGET (1993) Dir. John Woo

One of the best feelings in the world must be to be a baseball organist who’s like fuck it, I’m playing Thriller

In the name of editorial balance, the Dodgers should be required to have Blake Treinen pitch one inning of a decisive playoff game.

And two years from launching his successful chicken restaurant chain.

a cartoon of popeye holding a can of manna Alt: a cartoon of popeye holding a can of spinach

This, but with gravy.

Real Bugs Bunny shit.

Pitching investors on a "Succession"-esque dining experience where I profanely tell diners what a huge disappointment they are to me.

"Obviously, I am disappointed to be passed over for the honor of Guy Least Likely to Threaten People, and may I just add that you'll all pay for this, oh God, how I will make you all pay."

RECOGNIZE MY PEACE-LOVING WAYS OR ELSE

Headline: Norway braces for Trump’s reaction if he does not win Nobel peace prize

A sign that you are perhaps not well-qualified to receive the Nobel Peace Prize is that people fear your angry reprisals if it is deemed you are not peaceful enough.

Ref from the Air Bud movies: Well, there's no rule that says you _can't_ have eight pitchers....

Meet the new Christ, same as the old Christ

aaron judge gets infected with the ick from Donald Trump

Party with fascists, get handed your asses

"Audiences feel you lack the innate likability of Meghan McCain."

I'm hoping she won't rat us out
I'm starting to have all these doubts
Because she has all this clout
With antifa

I wish you could meet my girlfriend
My girlfriend who is in antifa
She couldn't be cuter
She might be the shooter
My girlfriend who is in antifa

She likes to smash up things
She's very excited
To tangle with fascists
She'll soon be indicted