SBC

Prosecution: Did you kill him?
Me: No I didn’t.
Prosecution: Do you know what the punishment is for committing perjury?
Me: Almost certainly less than Murder…

Has Halloween is just around the corner, what ‘relatively’ unknown horror films would you recommend that are genuinely scary. My suggestion. George C Scott’s ‘The Changeling’.

It's a little known fact that Richard Gere's dad, Gottler, was a famous Swedish ventriloquist.

Business idea:
Find Melbournes most popular wedding venue and then set up a coffee bar outside called for ‘Grounds For Divorce’.

If you have to swim ashore before you ask, there’s a reasonably high chance you haven’t passed your driving test…

@helenlohara.bsky.social
Hi Helen, jumping the gun ‘slightly’ with suggestions for the Empire podcast this week. How about Robert Redford film recommendations that may have slipped under people’s radar. You can make it a Mt Rushmore question if you REALLY want to 😃

Do you think umbrellas originally started out being called brellas and the inventor just hesitated when asked what they were called?

VERY IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP:

If your partner ever asks ‘Do you like how I did my makeup?’

NEVER. EVER. REPLY.

‘Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you.’

You’re Welcome…

Very disappointed to discover that ‘Dunkirk’ isn’t an autobiography about William Shatner…

I am Loki, of Seaworld, and I am burdened with glorious porpoise.

Next year, at the end of July, we all go to San Diego dressed as great military leaders of old eastern block European countries. We all play it completely straight faced and when asked we say that "we thought this was Commie-Con".

Who's with me?

The more I think about it the more I’m convinced that palindrome should be spelled palindromemordnilap.
#IMaybeTired

Tomorrow isn’t promised.
Be a problem today…

Not only am I the master of suspense, but I…

A Pessimist and an Optimist are walking down the road. The Pessimist says "Things are terrible, they can't get any worse". The Optimist says "Yes they can".

It’s obvious. Why didn’t I see it before! Thank you 😃

@helenlohara.bsky.social
Hi Helen, just curious but do you think the ‘Harold’ that the Silver Surfer keeps mentioning is the same as the one from Neighbours?
Asking for a friend…

So, it’s Sunday and I find myself sat on the couch, dressed as an 18th century nun, watching Bruce Willis films.
That’s right
‘Old Habits, Die Hard’

I’m not very good at dwarf impressions. But still, hey ho…

My next door neighbour just got arrested for growing weed. I guess the property line isn’t where I thought it was.

Fool me once. Shame on you.
Fool me twice. Shame on me.
Fool me 37432 times, chances are you’re a weatherman…

My knee just cracked so loudly that I’m expecting to glow in the dark later…

Flamboyant: The art of being on fire whilst floating at the same time.

I have decided to try and increase my vocabulary as this will allow me to associate with a higher calendar of people.

@chrishewitt.bsky.social @helenlohara.bsky.social @jamescdyer.bsky.social
Hi, just saw an old clip of Josh Brolin saying that if Thanos had enough power to wipe out half the universe, surely he must also have had enough to create twice the resources.
I may need to go and have a lie down…

Table for 13 please.
Yes we are all men.
No, we’re not a stag do.
We do all need to sit on the same side though.
And do you know any good painters?

Fleetwood Mac implies there is also a Fleetwood PC

Albert Einstein is widely regarded as one of the smartest and most intelligent people who ever lived.
His brother Frank, not so much…

There are 3 things I really don’t understand.
Politics & counting…

I was always quite fond of ‘Professional Empty Bottle Collector’