Mr Shaker

Holy shit! That motherfucker TORE DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE!

Trump surge

Trump's negotiating with a city like it’s a contestant on The Apprentice.

As metaphors go, it’s the most metaphorical of metaphors. Some say the greatest.

HR want an emergency meeting about our suppliers. No idea why.

Very happy to have launched our Safety Initiative today! Big Gav deserves a pat on the back for putting up all the signs, and as soon as he gets back from hospital he'll get one.

We welcomed Sultan Kösen in earlier today, the world's tallest man at 8 foot 3 inches. With hindsight, we should have said 'duck' when getting on the helicopter, but on the upside, there's a brand new record holder as of this morning!

A lot of people ask us 'is it safe to land in fog?' Of course, with modern instruments and two qualified pilot's, it's really not a probPULL UP PULL UP FOR F**K'S SAKE...

What a weird name for a dog. But sorry for their loss.

Managed to introduce "synergistic frictivation" into the company lexicon after using it in a strategy document to test if anyone reads them. Now, senior management uses it in presentations as if it's gospel. Last week, someone suggested we "frictivate our verticals".

‘Dear diary, my first week as chief security officer at the Louvre was jolly exciting’

Onwards & upwards.
#LizTruss
#LettuceGate

Smashing. Video just in from Barbara, enjoying a week in New York with her friend. Lovely to see.

You just bought Kristi Noem new new private luxury jets 😩😵‍💫🥴

THE WH is a “designated historic landmark”.

A Prez has ZERO AUTHORITY to alter it.

Incredible to be hit by space debris while you’re flying a Boeing. That’s how you get social media engagement in a high class manner.

Happy Birthday @kamalaharris! The truth you spoke and the warnings you gave are now our reality. We will not give up the fight but are here to win our country back! Thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do for the American people.
#Pinks #SheShed

Nobody listens to presentations at all so don't worry about the words because you look terrific so that will distract everyone.

adobe acrobat is surprisingly inflexible considering its line of work

I was just thinking about old Bob from our I.T. Department. He left to join Amazon Web Services and it's his first day on the job today!

It’s “Colombia” YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS

Coffee tasted odd today. I wonder what they put in it?

So close to my Monday here. Alarm set for 0530. Simply ungodly and inhumane

See the difference? 👀

#NoKings