Mandy

Lying straight through my teeth about knowing how to open the door next to me on this plane’s exit row

no matter how many album covers the world cooks up for RATM they just wont come back

The electric company called me at 2am to tell me they might shut off our power two days from now

this is the jacket's breast pocket lining pulled up to make it look like a pocket square

We are all taking psych damage left and right and I just want to say, if you’re holding it together right now, in spite of the stochastic terror and the institutions crumbling around us, how are you doing that, can you teach me

if you’re not ready to hear my order at the drive thru then pls don’t ask me 😭

colorado, you have gone batshit crazy with your roundabouts

needs to build some ballroom

This week, I’m hosting The Daily Show Tuesday through Thursday.

It’s my first time hosting anything on TV. Ever.

I’ve spent years writing behind the scenes, learning from truly great and talented people. Now, for three nights, I get to sit at the desk and do it myself.

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return

The internet remains undefeated 😂😅

thank you for your service in helping spread awareness 🫡

myyy sandwich????

live. laugh. lisdexamfetamine.

large, black SUV with sticker that reads “the biggest, blackest box.”

best car sticker i’ve seen in a while

@cardsagainsthumanity.com

can you please tell me this 10 years ago 😩👵🏻

There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall

There are only three political positions in America today

1) I like the fascism

2) I'll acquiesce to the fascism (reasons for this one vary: cowardice, access, denial, misguidedly thinking that acquiescence is savvy, etc)

3) I oppose the fascism

The rest is details

if you have close neighbors and have some pressure washing to do, definitely start as early in the morning as possible

i saw that, just related very much as a straight woman lol

being a straight woman in 2025

ocean

Cambria, CA 😍

me to my coworker just now:

‘maybe i could get a crying curtain for my cube’

beach at sunset

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

same, i’m convinced i’ve missed some crucial component

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social • 1h Going to become "the bad boy of Jeopardy" and by that I mean "I'm going to use my phone to look up the answers" until "Ken Jennings beats my ass" 9 • 176 Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social You mean look up the questions.

This is the hardest I’ve ever been owned online

having a blow pop for breakfast

Happy voting day, Canada. Please remain the sensible one in this North American duplex we share.

"They want obedient workers. People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay the longer hours the reduced benefits the end of overtime and the vanishing pension" ~George Carlin