John F. Sex

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

i will venmo any reporter $600 to ask trump "when was dick cheney vice president"

The same people want to concealed carry in bathrooms to ‘protect children’ act aghast people might do whatever it takes to keep their kids from starving.

Looks delicious

a tweet from bryan johnson (the smooth technology man who will live forever) that opens with the phrase "I eliminated 85% of microplastics from my ejaculate."

[kool keith voice] i eliminated 85% of microplastics from my ejaculate

I can’t help but think today about how many young people were savaged on social media, branded as anti-semites and abandoned by their schools for daring to call for a ceasefire. I remember saying that it was the first time I can remember that calling for ceasefire was regarded as a hostile demand.

"Instead of Columbus, we should celebrate all Italian women for being so hot." this is a genuine thought I had this morning. I'm sharing it as an act of contrition. please do not get mad at me. please do not become passionately enraged with your fiery tempers and strike me with a heavily-ringed hand

He likes hunting and hamburgers

I’ve always been more of an ibuprofen guy.

I’m fine with the Rapture as long as the man from Mars does not eat my cars and guitars and head

I don’t think you can look at one idiot and extrapolate for the entirety of a movement but I don’t think a lot of these people have an intellectual curiosity, ability to absorb information, or think critically. It might be way AI is more popular with the right?

Like a dog

I’d like to think that if the birthday card for the office pedophile was getting passed around I’d refrain from drawing a fun little doodle on it. Hell I might not even sign it.

To: All - Intercompany
From: Maintenance
Subject: Metamorphosis
Body:

To whom it may concern,

The entire maintenance department is rockabilly now. Please adjust your files as needed

Sincerely,

Thick Dick Rick and the Husky Boys

i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat

As Jerry Jones gives away his best defensive player to Green Bay, I couldn’t help but wonder… Would a man ever let his defenses down for me?

🚨Border Patrol arrested two firefighters who were actively fighting a wildfire at the time.

When the other members of the crew asked for a chance to say goodbye, a Border Patrol agent told the crew member “you need to get the f*ck out of here. I’m going to make you leave.”

What’s more likely to you, an unexpected successful season or a Maxey trade request? If the latter, do you just blow the whole thing up?

New Jersey,USA

Hello Masuke from Freya

Dude the Trade Deadline is wild

What if my dick is already dumb tiny? Does it go up into me?

Freya Bagels Skaarsgard

a ½ gallon of neutral milk

They finally made the milk from that hotel

Keep it simple on a work night

VEEEEJ!

Holding a special place in my heart for all the Democrats in Congress who are like “Trump *should have* gone to us *for permission* !!! 😡😡😡

(which we would have gladly given 😜🥰💃🏻)”

ME: yeah could i get the impossible burger with cheese.
THE VIZIER WHO'S BEEN ADVISING ME: ahh, an excellent choice sire. an imitation of the genuine article. there are some "friends" of yours to whom it bears a passing similarity
ME: you want anything
VIZIER: [chuckles] what i want is of no import

Isaiah Joe, the No. 49 overall pick by the Sixers in the 2020 NBA Draft, is headed to the NBA Finals.