Joshua Ellis

Never let it be said that Americans can't figure out a way to turn lemons into lemonade.

Man, if you think we're disrespectful about Charlie Kirk's death, you got no idea how offended you're gonna be when It Finally Happens. 😂😂😂

Some people think I'm too long-winded. Fair enough.

If you don't think pedophilia is a debatable idea but ethnic supremacy or homophobia are, you're a bigoted piece of shit human being. Period.

Is that succinct enough, or do you require an explanation?

When it comes to racists and bigots, I do not play: I consider them to be my inferiors and myself their better, as well as anyone who defends their hatred as just another ware in the marketplace of ideas.

I'm quite serious. They're not as good as I am, period. And I treat them that way.

Horror movie where the Child-Eating Cyclops Monster eats children every week, but because he wears a clean suit and tie and frames his desire to eat children as an academic thought experiment, the authorities allow the Cyclops to continue for the sake of civility.

Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here, up in here

If you look carefully at Trump today, the sagging right side of his face actually reads "transgender ideology"

Little known scientific fact: the "T" in T. Ocellus stands for "T-Bone", which is the creature's government name.

My mom went to Evergreen High School in Evergreen, Colorado in the 1970s and my late uncle went to Columbine in Littleton. Just random sad facts I realized yesterday.

How tho 😂😂😂

To be clear, I couldn't give a fuck if I make anyone mad because I don't care and it has no consequences for me. Just in case there was any confusion on that point. I'm just in awe of the level of conceptual humor here. It's like some Andy Kaufman ass genius. Kudos.

It's deeply funny to be angry at people for showing a lack of sympathy over the gun murder of someone who made an entire career delighting other people - the same people who are mad now - with his utter indifference to gun murders.

Archdouche Ferdinand

I also died at 31 years old (cardiac arrest), but the difference is that I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and defeated death, idk why he didn’t try that 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Long day, Bob. It's quittin time."

Sculpture is just hipster artisanal 3D printing

Can you imagine being such a massive unredeemable sack of shit that an entire generation will have a foundational memory for the rest of their lives of that one glorious weekend that billions of humans across the entire globe were hoping and praying you were actually dead?

Got a new Zippo and it needed a little something.

Kids today be like I wanna dress like Claire Danes in My So-Called Life but with a pedo stache

The fawning over Nigel by the UK media ecosystem for well over a decade means that a lot of Brits will be genuinely confused to see him take any criticism at all. Our media proprietors, who use him as a stalking horse for their various bigotries, will urgently redouble their efforts to promote him.

Son’s account of renting a car in Copenhagen yesterday. It shut down in the middle of the street because he had to be continuously logged in to an app and something tells me the subscription-model panopticon is going to be really rubbish.

The thought of Donnie Dorko struggling to lie out of both sides of his ham hock face has got me in a contemplative mood today.

I hope as he's convalescing from whatever malady definitely hasn't killed him, President Trump is able to relax and recuperate. I always find listening to music to be quite delightful.

This record, for example, might be just what he needs.