madelaine caritas longman

I got into writing in the first place largely because I would pick up books as a teenager and get annoyed that the lives in them looked absolutely nothing like my own or those of the people around me. That desire to say my part and make something new was the spark that gave my life purpose.

But honestly -- who cares! Several of my favourite authors write about niche interests and confusing moods. Some of my favourite writing is about loneliness or tumblr or Yu-Gi-Oh. One type of person does not have a monopoly on real life, real feelings, or the right to self-expression.

Thinking about relatability and how sometimes I feel like I'm not "allowed" to write because the things I do in my daily life, the things I think and care about, my emotional reactions, etc, don't fit the expectations I had for what it means to be a university-educated writer in their 30s.

Every morning I wake up and unfailingly have the impulse to grab my phone and look at a website that satisfies my need for existential meaning. Then I think, "Can't remember what site that was. Guess I'll look through them all until I find it." I have never found it. Go away, morning impulse.

Three days to finish this postdoc application draft. Let's get this done. Good to have a concrete task and an occasion to indulge in extra coffee.

Photo of poem "Starcraft" by Karen Solie, from her collection Wellwater.

Karen Solie.

Killing Eve poetry meme Villanelle / (Every other genre): “You’re a lot today.” Eve / (Poetry): “I’m a lot every day.”

Also, thank you for your patience with me venting on your post. I'm sorry you've had such shitty experiences with the medical system, and I hope you'll be able to get better care soon. You speaking out on this is much appreciated, and points to a huge structural issue that has hurt so many people.

Wish I'd said. "No. This is not fine. This is not acceptable. You, doctor, would not lie down and accept your fate if this happened to you."

Extremely agree, and this is so important to talk about. I'm seeing my doctor Friday because I suspect I've been on the wrong medication for 14 years. Constantly told that I was doing better than I thought, all while facing increasingly debilitating PREVENTABLE cognitive issues from side effects.

On just this week learning I’m either mis- or under-diagnosed, I can’t stop thinking on the cultural narrative that the sick must ‘accept’ their condition, usually with weird victim-blaming judgements.
How does this narrative square with mis-diagnosis? How does it square with medical indifference?

yeah, that is a frustrating framing and it's annoying how ubiquitous it is. autoimmune disorder spaces are similar -- lots of "civil war" metaphors that leave a bad taste in my mouth. same with when someone dies from an illness and is described as "losing their fight with ___." weird and blaming.

Thanks so much for sharing, Sarah! And for your kind words!

An early podcast bro. A pioneer.

An image for a poetry workshop. The text reads: "Fire and Form: an eight-week generative poetry workshop. Taught by Madelaine Caritas Longman. 6:30-8:30 Tuesday evenings, September 9th to October 28th, 2025. 5333 Av. Casgrain, Montréal. $200-250 (sliding scale). To sign up, email Longmanmc@gmail.com with the subject line 'Poetry Workshop'"

I will be teaching an eight-week generative poetry workshop in Montreal, running from September 9th to October 28th, every Tuesday at 6:30 to 8:30 PM. Check it out if you're interested! All levels welcome.

Exactly one sofa's length worth of dog! Impressive!

My judgemental opinion is that supporting disability inclusivity requires more people (especially those w/o disabilities) get used to putting up with things that mildly inconveniences but doesn't actually harm them. Some people move slowly or need things explained multiple times. It's fine.

My favourite insult I've experienced is when a former high school classmate said "you seem like you like art" in an extremely condescending tone.

All fields benefit when more people realize they have the right to pursue knowledge. This is not to discount structural obstacles; but we should work towards resisting the sense of inferiority that make us an additional obstacle to ourselves.

It reminds me a bit of how STEM fields are mostly dominated by men -- not because men are better at these subjects, but because men are more likely to feel like they have the right to be there and keep learning even if their work isn't perfect (which no one's work is).

It won't necessarily make money or get cultural capital, but if you want to make and share something, there are less barriers than you might expect. IME one of the biggest obstacles to creating art is internalizing the belief that one simply doesn't have the right to do so.

One of the most helpful things I learned in my arts degrees is that you don't actually need to be a special elite type of person to make art. There is gatekeeping, but you can also organize your own events, post your work online, print your own zines.

I hope you're able to get the tests and treatment soon. The diagnosis sounds like helpful information to have, and I hope it leads to better health care for you soon.

remembering an article I read by someone born without a sense of smell, who had assumed that smelling things was a complex and abstract mental process she would learn to perform when she was more mature. I suspect many nd or disabled people grow up with similar feelings.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Image ID: Promotional poster for the virtual event, An Evening of Poetry and Literature: Four authors from across Canada share new writing on OCD. Photographs of the authors, Samantha Jones, Drew McEwan, Léa Taranto, and Madelaine Caritas Longman, are included above the event details. Date and time: July 26, 2025, at 7:00-8:30 pm EST/4:00-5:30 pm PDT. Event link: https://concordia-ca.zoom.us/j/89578422916

Looking forward to reading tomorrow, July 26th, with brilliant writers Samantha Jones, Drew McEwan, and Léa Taranto! The event will be held at 7:00 EST and is online and open to all. Hope to see you there!

Link: buff.ly/ORdn1E9

I agree on your first point that it is a structural issue and that mental health support needs to be more readily available. But blaming individual people for developing a mental illness is not helpful.

Yeah that comment sounds wildly out of line. It also seems like AI is being used to paper over labour issues -- if staff is overworked to the point they can't have lives outside of work unless they make a machine do the work for them, that is a larger structural issue that needs to be addressed.

There was a post I liked where someone compared using AI to write a paper to going to the gym and using a forklift to lift the weights up and down. The weights having moved is not the point of the activity! Stripping tasks of human thought and effort often defeats their whole purpose.

Beautifully put. I'm not inherently against AI for some purposes (e.g. sorting large amounts of medical data to help develop treatments, but like you said, it would be need to be highly monitored against biases), but many of the current uses just result in skill loss, and even cognitive decline.