Lee A. Chrimes

[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.] JANET: Ugh... LIZ: What's up? JANET: I am so bored of cooking peas! LIZ: Have you tried... AI peas? JANET: AI peas? LIZ: They're peas with AI! [Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI]. LIZ: Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas JANET: What LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines] Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas? [Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it] LIZ: Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine [Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas] LIZ: With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas! JANET: What LIZ: Shut up LIZ: Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow From opening the bag of peas to boiling the peas to eating the peas To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means. JANET: Is it really necessary to- LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]: THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET [Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan: AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas. [Ends]

Every ad now

You'll miss the BBC when it's gone...

I knew you'd have this covered

This absolutely feels like a @badmachinery.com strip from a parallel dimension

It’s harassment to tell me my opinions are bad

Predator 2 is a gosh dang classic and I'll fight any of these film school dropouts that claim otherwise

The Playground: My First Novel (Sort of) I’ve been holding onto this one for a long time. I wrote the nine short stories that make up this “novel” from 2015 to 2019. It was meant to be released episodically alongside two other series in a shared universe. The publisher called the idea Serial Boxes. My box was called Futurepunk, a cyberpunk-light quasi-dystopia. Lee Chrimes created it, but he was pretty hands off.

I'm releasing the prose serial I wrote during the 2010s. The publisher collapsed, so it never got its proper release (or editing), but it is a finished project.

The 'funniest' part is me continually restarting my worldbuilding due to every seismic event of the last 10 years. Maybe when the planet calms tf down I can start work again

In my defence, I had to write about it too

Created a new page on my blog to showcase all my old virtual series projects.

Quote with your favourite film and album from the year you were born

Me: If you have Halloween decorations up but no treats, you deserve tricks. That's the agreement. THAT IS A BINDING COMPACT. Guy: There is no such thing as a contract that obliges one to break the law, or allows one to break the law by contractual obligation. Any such contract is null and void on it's face. Unless the tricks are limited to minor annoyances, watch what you do.

man come on

YouTube video by Paul And Sanja Exploring Highgate Cemetery: History, Hidden Stories & the Vampire Legend

New video! Just in time for Halloween... join us as we explore Highgate Cemetery on what is definitely not a vampire hunt, because they don't like that sort of thing.

There's an argument that the computerisation of the workplace plus the need for people to earn money has led to 'busywork' jobs, but the psychotic glee AI twats crow about wiping out people's ability to earn a living remains utterly loathsome

We should write books about it, am I right?

I misread that, immediately visualised a cover saying 'Corners of American Cinemas' and it's a coffee table book of corners in cinemas across the US. Here's one from the AMC in Arlington, TX

'Choose a better future with Britain's #1 Pro-Am golfer' and then some explosions. You know, for the kids

Having worked in marketing for a while and made plenty of these, golden rules are always: less text, more headlines. One big image better than lots of small ones. And keep the bottom half neat and clear - most people won't notice or read it

There's a Lost homage gag in here somewhere, surely

Two announcers, Jason Garrett and Dan Hicks, stand in front of a sign that reads "Big Turd" thanks to how they are blocking it

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 16: The Toxic Avenger Part 2 (1989)

I know these movies are popular, but they are not for me

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 15: Shocker (1989)

Mitch Pileggi as a bad guy is weird to see, but after a more dark and sombre start this goes absolutely batshit in the 2nd half, and I have to wonder if a better film was waiting to be unleashed (esp if the FX director hadn't checked out so early)

Saw an article about an ad company using AI to put users' faces in the ads they're served. Are we cyperpunking yet? When do we get to cyberpunk?

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 14: Pet Sematary (1989)

Stephen King novels have a low hit rate of successful movies, and the hammy-acted melodrama of this one does not buck that trend. Unintentionally hilarious in parts though, worth it just for the funeral scene (big I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON energy)

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 13: Waxwork (1988)

Entertainingly bonkers and surprisingly loving homage to classic horror, exactly the kind of madcap whirlwind of ideas late 80s horror was so good at. Also Patrick Macnee gets his head popped off by a werewolf

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 12: Vampire's Kiss (1988)

The r/simpsonsshitposting of 80s horror. Or, Possession if it was written by a forlorn yuppie trying to passive aggressively end a failed relationship

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 11: The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

I first saw this as a much too young lad, remembered it being a bit mad, but hoo boy it is -so- much loopier than that. When you know Ken Russell basically treats it as a comedy, it gets a lot easier to appreciate

Yes I know that's from the first one, don't @ me

30 days of #halloween 2025 day 10: Return of the Living Dead 2 (1988)

SEND MORE COPS

30 days of #halloween day 9: The Hidden (1987)

Kyle McLachlan as an FBI agent, pre-Twin Peaks? Claudia "Babylon 5' Christian as a gun-toting stripper? The police station shootout from Terminator? Alien slugs who want to be President? Sign me up