Mika Walker Kane

Is felching the new planking?

Still think Trump is going to grow into the job.

The trauma that RFK Jr. has put that little brain worm through -- can't help but feel for the little guy.

Is felching having a moment?

Analysis | Does felching cause autism? Not according to this HHS secretary.

Find a man who will look at you like this

It's not easy to nail (no pun intended) a resurrection without venture capital, btw.

Elon's Extremely Hardcore resurrection

I'm still upset over the passing of Saint Dick. Thank you for understanding.

"I need to commune with Nature"

19th century: Goes to a remote pond for 2 years, writes book.

20th century: Goes camping for the weekend.

21st century: Watches cat video on phone.

The only thing that turns kids into "adults" faster than black skin is a kid getting sexually assaulted by a prominent Republican.

No one can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory like the Democrats.

Torrid love affair with the gardener.

Every culture has one thing at which you are not allowed to laugh.

There a word yet for a person who has clearly spent too much time interacting with AI and now always barks commands at people and generally responds inappropriately to actual humans? I'm proposing "AI-hole"

Still can't believe this actually happened...

Just took a low-pressure shower, got vaccinated, read a book, and took Tylenol under a windmill to own the cons.

Trump's "Smash Tylenol" campaign just the latest effort to eliminate the Four Pests of America: vaccines, Tylenol, windmills, and solar power.

A: What are you in for?
B: Mocking.

The Trump Administration Says IUDs and the Pill Are Abortions 9.12.25

the Trump administration told The New York Times that IUDs, hormonal implants, and the Pill are actually abortions open.substack.com/pub/jessica/...

Are you pro-Charlie Kirk or hyper-pro-Charlie Kirk? Like for first option, retweet for second.

[Liberal watches Hitler give furious, rambling speech in a beer hall]: "I may disagree with him, but he's doing politics the right way."

Political violence is so disturbing when it isn't something I can pay for and cheer on from a safe distance.

I, for one, will never forget when trans and anti-fascist ideology did 9/11.

Honestly thought they were going to switch to a logo of Sydney Sweeney's tits emblazoned with swastikas or whatever just to prove Cracker Barrel is not woke.

Our long national Cracker Barrel logo nightmare is over.

Iron Chef: Countertop

The most profound, heart-wrenching moral decision we seem to make today -- the Sophie's Choice of late capitalism -- is which social media platform to post cat gifs from.

Photo of DOGE staffer Nate Cavanagh, a 28-year-old white man in a blue pullover, carrying a black backpack.

Photo of 53-year-old Afghan scholar Mohammad Halimi. He is sitting, wearing white pants and shirt with a brown vest.

On the left: Nate Cavanagh, a 28-year-old DOGE staffer and college dropout.

On the right: Mohammad Halimi, a 53-year-old exiled Afghan scholar.

This is the story of how DOGE targeted Halimi on social media.

Then the Taliban took his family. 🧵

Eating a bucket of radioactive shrimp right now to own the libs.