David Varney

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(Clears throat, from the back row….)

ASSHOLE!

This going in reverse. Everybody skipped to the "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" part first.

All that and a legendary lost track.

There are so many other things he could've asked the Wizard for.🤨

Are you sure you want to hibernate through this?

I'd laugh if I didn't know who Marvin represents here.

Because Creep is just too easy.

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"The Statue in the harbor should've warned you."

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I get more of a Hanover Fiste vibe...

I mean, he's been trying.

Also considered: Dune - Bride of Harrkonen

I remember all the jokes after his heart surgery. C'mon people, of course he had one.

But it's pretty obvious his body rejected it.

Affluenca First Response Treatment Protocol.

Making A-rod's pregame prediction look good is irritating.

As a native who was raised around mill towns, this hits way too hard.

Rating it any bigger than a quark is too generous.

An important anti-DeBlasio defense maneuver.

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Special Guest Star(s)...

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🎶Here come those Santa Ana Winds againnnn...🎶

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I find the lack of Lost Boys in the replies disturbing.

Now available at Wal-Mart, Target and your local pharmacy.

Locked behind plexiglass.

Inside the Mariners locker room last night.

Just start preparing the "wiring/plumbing is already getting replaced because they hired cut rate contractors and/or didn't pay them" stories.

South Park, if you're listening....

I'm so happy for Donnie Baseball!

The appropriate word really is poseur.

They blow up boats that can't possibly reach American shores 1300+ miles away and give no thought of the larger boats or ports that would present a far better strategic value for actually intercepting/disrupting the drug trade.

They can't even get that right.