Ilene Goldman

My grandmother was always on a diet. One year, for Passover, she made “fat-free matza balls.”

They were so dense they were like magnets. They literally stuck to the spoon. We joked that my grandfather could play golf with them.

She was never allowed to make matza balls again.

I’m ready for 5787.

Seriously. This year has been The Worst. Can we just let it be over already?

@prettyscaryauthor.bsky.social edited both of my books, and they are so much better for it.

I dreamed last night that George Michael recorded a cover of “Sound of Silence.”

It was, of course, fantastic, and now I’m disappointed that it doesn’t actually exist.

I can vouch that crocheting has been good for my mental health.

Pink and orange reflects on clouds as the sun sets behind prairie grasses and scraggly trees

Sunset

Love them!

WHAT?!?!

Cute! Love the cat pin too!

A black shih tzu mix in a gray sweater sits in a sofa and looks at the camera with a sad begging face.

The face of a dog who has never eaten in his entire life.***

***He ate dinner 10 minutes ago.

Thank you!

I am done with work until December! 

(That’s not as far away as it feels, is it?)

Bodies are such a scam.

I hope you feel better soon!

That looks AMAZING.

I’m pretty sure Judge Ellis is a big reason CBP fled Chicago.

Thank you!

When I was teaching, my body did this every break. 🙄

Yes, mom. 😉

ME: Just make it through Friday and then I’ll have a whole week off.

MY BODY: Time for a head cold!!! Oh, and let’s add some sinus shenanigans too!

YES!!!!

YES, PLEASE.

**side-eyes collections of fabric, yarn, and notebooks**

I’m a . . . STABLE genius?

You’re the famous-est, Lexi.

That’s one of my favorites too.

Thank you 💙

That’s my new normal.

Thank you 💙