Pessimistic Persimmon

Can I borrow $50,000?

I need to buy groceries for the week.

#ThisIsWhatIVotedFor

No One Has All Four:

1. Woke on capitalism and genocide
2. Woke on Covid
3. Woke on jean short
4. Under 6ft in height

Covid infections persist in your gut even after your “recovery.”

#RawDoggingFartsInConferenceRoomAtWork

MANSPLAINING

If women could experience just how much fun mansplaining is…

.. they’d probably be less judgmental about it.

#CalmDown

If you’re a penis-haver and STILL MASKING in 2025…

.. how come you arent ignorant like all the other penis-havers ?

#CovidShrinksPenis

To individuals who rarely breathe in fecal aerosols, please share your secret ?

#PublicRestroomSelfies

Only the poors serve in rich people’s war.

Don’t say mini

In 2020… Americans decided …

..that appetizers at Applebees were definitely worth more than the lives of their grandparents, their children, and their penis.

#CovidShrinksPenis

🇺🇸

Groceries are so expensive. *

*for the poors

🇺🇸

HELP NEEDED - Business Advice

I invented a mild bioweapon ..

..i just need to think of a way to convince people to spread it to their children, families and communities, especially the most vulnerable ones..

… y’all got any tips?

🇺🇸

US History 101

Jimmy Kimmel defeated fascism.

Only he and Joe Biden have ever done this in USA.

🇺🇸

Wear an N95 mask to protect your community members. *

*and your penis

#CovidShrinksPenis

🇺🇸

“Thank you for your military service.” *

*your service fighting rich people’s wars

🇺🇸

.. It won’t happen to meeeeeeeeeeeee.

#justYou

HINT:

When they said .. “We have the tools” ..

..to allow widespread covid infections and the MASS DISABILITY from infections…

they meant “We have the concentration camps.”

🇺🇸

Gotta climb a ladder today … to reach some high areas.

You know what that means…

#JeanShorts

Even if measles does become endemic again…

..hardly any of the important kids would die from it.

#WeHaveToLiveNormally

TOILET PAPER 🧻

Does anyone know if I can still use toilet paper I bought in 2020 or is it expired?

#1500RollsLeft

If you’re a scientist and STILL MASKING in 2025…

.. how come you aren’t ignorant like all the other scientists?

#ScienceTwitter

We are just one more PERFORMATIVE PROTEST away from defeating fascism.

🇺🇸

Sure SEX IS GOOD ..

…but have you ever avoided razor blade throat, autoimmune disease, blood clots, liver damage, pink eye, cancer risks, immune dysfunction, brain fog, post exertion malaise, and shrinked penis

..by simply wearing an n95 mask in public?

#CovidShrinks

If all of us work hard EVERY day starting today … to get out the VOTE…

..in 3 years we could probably replace 99% Hitler with 98% Hitler.

#VOTEHarder

WEATHER UPDATE

Jean shorts weather continues until the weekend.

☀️⛅️🕶️🩳

If you’re a doctor and STILL MASKING in 2025…

.. how come you aren’t ignorant like all the other doctors?

#MedTwitter

If we could only find a good 98% Hitler to rescue us from 99% Hitler.

🇺🇸

#VoteHarder

PUBLIC HEALTH has failed us.

Perimenopause is AIRBORNE.

It’s is SPREADING among young people in their 30s including men. And Public Health officials are not doing their job!

#ItsUpToUsToEducateThePublicOurselves

Don’t worry help is coming.

#JustKidding

Renaming the Gulf of Mexico didn’t lower grocery prices after all.

🇺🇸

If this makes the price of eggs go down, I’m for it.

🇺🇸