Cinder (it/its)

Chicago changes you because you eventually see it’s 40 degrees outside and are like ah yes shorts weather

Bestie so full of ramen she has to waddle out of the restaurant

Bestie: I just realized your type is nice and dumb

Me: yea pretty much

Bestie: haha those idiots

Remember bottoms, after your top is done railing you and they’re laying there sweaty and out of breath, you can make them so unbelievably happy by bringing them a Gatorade

Bestie: can we get ramen tonight? 👉👈🥺

Bestie: why do you like them so dumb?

Me: because relationships are easier if they acknowledge that I’m smarter than them and should be in charge

Bestie: I need someone in charge like that

Double luge looks like a sport you’d make up to trick your homies into being a little gay with eachother

Bestie: what’s the name of a person who does physics? A physician?

Bestie full of tamales and having had her morning walkies now naps on the couch

For a bunch of people who were allegedly raised on and understand the internet yall act like this is your first day ever online

You sure owned that no pfp generic blue wave account created a month ago champ, that was totally a real person with real beliefs

Leftists will be like I’m so smart everyone should listen to me and then spend 2 weeks publicly arguing with bot accounts

They hooked us up with some free horchatas too I fucking love Chicago

Bestie housing 3 red pork tamales and making sexual noises

She’s very hobbit coded

I awaken, bestie is hovering inches from my face

Bestie: I want tamales and hot dogs

It is 9am

Bestie: I just realized your type is nice and dumb

Me: yea pretty much

Bestie: haha those idiots

You can’t beat a Cookie Monster pajama pants girl in a diss off

Shout out to the two misogynists who clearly didn’t grasp this skeet and immediately tried to answer the question

Sometimes you can literally see the hamster that powers her brain taking a smoke break

Bestie: what’s the name of a person who does physics? A physician?

It’s because you don’t have to clean up after

Either I'm a woman or I've somehow managed to grow the ability to take instructions and use my bass fingers for a second purpose. I find if you finger the clit to the bassline of Good Times by Chic you can send a woman to the moon.

Oof buddy I got news for you

Saving this skeet so I can eventually link it back to you and say there were no signs

Alleged someone allegedly burning a concentration camp in Kansas City.

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

Like bro get a metronome app on your phone

I’m from Chicago my guy if it’s not 4 to the floor I can’t cum

I’m from Chicago my guy if it’s not 4 to the floor I can’t cum

if you ever fucked a white guy you know why, they have no sense of rhythm