Cinder (it/its)

Bestie angrily: that’s it? Everyone said it was so scary

She is literally quaking in her blanket nest

Tonight bestie watching the original Ringu

Me: the Chinese place threw in free Hong Kong style chicken wings

Bestie midway into putting her pajama on: yeassssss this is the greatest day ever

Bestie consulting the weed oracle before we order Chinese takeout

God that one day in your cycle where you’re just like in fucking heat for no fucking reason lord help me

I thought an over abundance of scheming diplomats without any balls is what got us into this mess?

Isn’t this what Eunuchs were?

God I want a hot pink switchblade so bad

i read this like robert de niro delivering the heat line from “Heat” (1995)

That is actually exactly the attitude I have about feta cheese and olives

I could just house one and a carton of olives like anytime anywhere doesn’t matter

Does anyone else ever see those bricks of feta cheese in the deli and get the urge to buy one and eat it whole like you’re a low poly video game character? Or is it just me?

Bestie sound asleep

Me whispering: don’t wanna get breakfast at the diner?

Bestie immediately opens her eyes and coos softly: when?

Bestie sound asleep

Me whispering: don’t wanna get breakfast at the diner?

Bestie immediately opens her eyes and coos softly: when?

Watching a 35 year old union bro call a 45 year old union bro “babydoll”

Pints of Guinness make you strong

Nothing quite like drinking with da union after a long week

Nothing that looks like that has ever been the source of good things happening

I’ve seen enough scifi do not touch that, do not power it on, blast it into the sun now before it’s too late

I’m sorry why does it need to look like an Eldritch artifact?

Hormones definitely working that’s for sure

So I’m just gonna be horny all day today huh?

I am truly gods favorite, lost 10lbs ass stayed the same size

Bestie: I get so many memes and references now

“Danny’s not here Mrs Torrence”

Bestie pulls the blanket up and retreats to a snuggle position of safety

Tonight bestie watches the shining for the first time

I was wondering why I was getting slightly turned on at work and then I realized my necklace was choking me a little

I was wondering why I was getting slightly turned on at work and then I realized my necklace was choking me a little

Winding my union bro up by telling him only straight white men like Paul Thomas Anderson