PenumbrialEcosystem

Just applied for a new job..... had to do a whole forklift certification thing. Really really hoping i get it 🙏 better pay, work more up my alley. Really hoping things work out.

It is still super rough and barebones, just got the sample boards functioning but im super excited! #artistresource

Im making a gesture drawing web app that will sync with pinterest so you can use your favorite pinterest boards for art study and photo reference easily! Pesturedrawing.com check it out! Still super rough, cant connect to pinterest yet (waiting on pinterest approval) but theres sample boards 2 use!

I feel like we are rapidly approaching like android robots just in every day. Theyre making those like robots out of brain tissue?? Everything with the AI and LLMs, in grocery stores theres those stock keeping robots now? And those robots that have been seen literally running around cities. Insanity

I hate my fucking job so much dude. Ive taken on so much shit. I just want to abandon it all. Its so fucking stupid. They fired all of upper management so everyone is scrambling. I have zero time to even think while im working. I just want to go back to warehouse work. I feel so alone. It is endless

Hi hello i really wanna idk. I wanna learn how to have fun posting on social media. I see so many people do it and they have fun with it - its always wrapped in so much fear for me. But ive been working on healing. I hage osdd and i get so locked down. Thats all for now i guess.

Did say that the answer counted tho thankfully. And no, the quiz question wasnt to summarize the text or something. Im not really sure why those things bothered me so deeply tho tbh.

Answered the quiz with the exact wording of the answer from the book and i took that personal! Bc i knew they were talking about my test (and they were indeed) and i had restated the answer from memory so why would that be a wrong answer? Idk lol. I took it personally tho, got offended, the teacher

Of remembering words; another time in high school annoyed me. In history class the teacher was having like, the students grade everyone elses test scores on a random quiz? Which is kinda weird now i think about it idk. But one of the other students asked if they should mark down if someone

These instances i am really great at remembering songs and stuff, idk i think i would be good at it. But i think fear would probably close me down. I think if i could overcome that fear i could do it. But ive gotten a lot of piercings actually so i wonder if that would be limiting now hm 🤔

Speakin

Teenagers so it is what it is. But it was something that just really stuck with me, im not sure why. Hm. Reminds me of when i was younger, in middle school, maybe younger?? Elementary? And i fucked up the lines in another school play. I always wanted to act and i would still like to, because despite

Refused. To literally beg to practice and you refuse then get pissed off when i fuck it up. It didnt annoy me at the time but it does annoy me now that the rest of my group didnt also like, try to get him off hearthstone so we could run through the thing at least once. And i mean we were all teenage

I think it was something like it wasnt MY fault that i fucked it up? But the way he said it sounded more like he was saying i fucked the whole thing up to me. Just pissed me off like did you think i was tryna ask to practice for your sake dude? I asked so many times to practice and you literally

No one would friggin practice with me. Came to the performance, i messed up a line or parts idk, whatever. At the end staple and his best buddy (also in the group) were clearly like not happy i fucked up the play. Best buddy said something and then staple was like "smthnsmthn [my name] fucked it up"

Fuckin staple got on his damn laptop?? Is how i remember it but idk why he was on a laptop? He was just playing hearthstone!! I kept asking staple like can we practice the thing? Can we run through it? He was just saying like he doesnt need to. Everyone else was like just dicking around too idk but

Ugh omg i wanna rant so in high school there was this like class play for japanese? class and i was grouped up with this guy call him staple idk. Staple and im pretty sure like the entire rest of my group was in theater. I was not. All the groups were given their scripts then sent off to practice.

Man this site really makes me realize how asexual a lot of my system is lmao

Yep ive got a lot of insiders. High influence without much full fronting is pretty much like. Definition of osdd. CTAD clinic has good recent videos on it actually

No hate to either of those things btw. Its just that im looking for a specific kinda community space, no hate at all.

Yeah dissociation is a generally normal phenomena and can be more prevelant within certain disorders, even outside DID, like dissociation is a pretty core feature of BPD for example.

I rarely use this platform but its an intersection ive observed as well, but its certainly not universal.

Oh! That reminds me, when i was seeing my first therapist, she said something that quite surprised me, she said it was probably quite traumatizing just being trans at all (esp. Since i always experienced pretty heavy dysphoria). I feel like the autism predisposes one to dissociative coping already 2

Am autistic. Trans. And got dxed osdd. Ive also noticed the large intersection of trans and autism with systems.

Squad hype session

Its called pesturedrawing! Bc gesture but p for pinterest :3

Im making a gesture drawing app you can link to a pinterest board that will display random images from that board for a set amount of time like in line of action!!! Just waiting for pinterest to approve my thing. Im so excited!! Its still super duper rough but im doing it!! Nvr done smthn lyk dis b4

Man i wish the dissociasky thing wasnt so full of endo plurals and fetish stuff. I just want a space i can relate to other dissociative systems :/ if anyone has recommendations please let me know. It is so lonely sometimes. So isolating.

Worldbuilding or japanese study or planning on my tablet in between stuff in bitcraft. Progress is cumulative! Even if i fall off the bike again for a bit, it doesnt erase the progress im making now! :)

Ive been exercising daily, (just 12-15 minutes rowing), doing my daily japanese study, and brushing my teeth 2x a day, and doing daily tarot for a bit now!! And making progress worldbuilding! Things are good :)
Whats really been helping has been my new remarkable and Bitcraft! I can do my

Ugh i went with my partner to this big social event yesterday. It was so pretty. But those kinda events really make me feel like such an outsider. People who arent autistic i dont think could ever fully understand. They always say you just need practice. Its so alienating. #asd