Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle

One of the biggest lies CPTSD tells us is that if we're able to laugh or appreciate beauty today, we must not be "that" traumatized.

The truth is, some of the most wounded people can appreciate some of the most profound beauty-- & nobody belly laughs like trauma survivors can.

I've never met a CPTSD survivor who needed to speed up or "try harder" in order to level up their recovery.

I've met lots & lots (& lots) of survivors who were only able to take that next step when they slowed down, got much better at checking in w/ themselves, & tried softer.

CPTSD recovery does not boil down to containing memories or wrangling symptoms. Not entirely.

Getting safe & stable in trauma recovery sets the stage for diving into what's truly meaningful in our lives-- what we want & need to do w/ this life we're working so hard to save.

"Self care" gets this rap as privileged or self-indulgent-- but survivors in serious CPTSD recovery know real self-care isn't all bubble baths (though, sure, those can be a tool).

Recovery self care is gritty, sweaty, & involves challenging deeply entrenched BS (Belief Systems).

Of the sensory tools we can use to ground ourselves & be less vulnerable to dissociation, scent is a frequently underutilized superstar.

The olfactory bulbs carry powerful, evocative signals straight into the experiential centers of the brain. Don't sleep on scent as a tool.

There are hands on, practical ways we can be gentle w/ & respectful of ourselves today. Don't believe CPTSD's lie that there's "nothing" we can do to meaningfully impact how we feel & function.

Our everyday relationship w/ ourselves is the backbone of CPTSD recovery.

Fleshing out & visualizing your safe, happy place-- even if it's from fiction, even if you have to invent it from the ground up-- isn't a fluffy nothingburger of a tool. What we visualize & experience on the inside of our head & heart is a potent, front line tool against CPTSD.

A change in your life doesn't have to be massive to be worth being proud of.

Acknowledge the micro changes due to micro choices. This is how we build a life on purpose.

This has how we realistically deconstruct CPTSD & create something sustainable in its place.

You don't need to be "chosen" to be worthy.

Realistic recovery from CPTSD requires us to choose ourselves, again & again-- over fear, over old conditioning, over exhaustion, over our (& others') old BS (Belief Systems).

Recovering from CPTSD or DID requires us to get out of the habit of seeing ourselves through the eyes of those who abused us.

We are not who they saw-- if they ever even saw us.

We are who we choose to be & become. Starting today.

Don't leave your "parts" or inner child wondering if you're committed to protecting them, understanding them, or loving them.

Tell them. Explicitly. Every day. Every hour.

The quality of our CPTSD recovery is the quality of our internal communication.

The person we pretend to be to please or appease others isn't going to recover from CPTSD by virtue of being able to present well.

We only recover from our authenticity. Which requires us to cease waging war on who we are & who we've been.

Trauma feels like it chases us down because, ultimately, all trauma is grief-- & grief does not decompose organically. It stays, hermetically sealed, until we face it, w/ compassion & patience & skill.

That is to say: trauma recovery doesn't happen by accident or time.

Recovery from CPTSD does not require perfection.

It does require bravery.

But no one in the universe is as brave as someone who has survived long enough to be reading these words.

You can do this.

CPTSD doesn't care if we're "worthy" or "unworthy;" it's a nervous system injury that's indiscriminate in whose life it tries to ruin. Don't buy into Trauma Brain's story about why this is happening to you.

Just focus in on the next recovery supporting micro choice you can make.

Because your trauma did not happen while you were growing up does not mean it's not complex trauma. Situations where we're harmed due to a power differential, where the pain was inescapable & unfolded over time, happen to people of all ages.

CPTSD is not "just" childhood trauma.

Realistically managing CPTSD means we have to give up fantasies of one skill, one realization, or one transformative thing being done to us, that will take all this pain away.

CPTSD harms us through conditioning over time. We only recover through reconditioning over time.

Acknowledging that CPTSD has powerfully influenced our decision making & personality in the past is not an "excuse."

It's realistically naming what we're up against, what we need to understand, & what we need to meet w/ compassion & skill if we're going to sustainably change.

Emotional regulation isn't always about being cool, calm & collected all the time. We can improve our emotional regulation & still feel plenty of passion & angst & excitement.

Emotional regulation IS about realistic tools for relating to our emotions-- without fear or disgust.

CPTSD recovery levels up when we realize we don't have to prove sh*t to anyone-- especially not those who wouldn't take our experience seriously anyway.

Who we are becoming, w/ each micro choice-- especially each micro choice about how to talk to ourselves, how to direct our mental focus, & how to breathe & use our body-- is way more important than who abuse, neglect, and CPTSD have tried to convince us we are or "have" to be.

You don't "have" to forgive-- or refuse to forgive-- anyone.

You don't "have" to follow anyone else's career or life advice.

You don't "have" to create a life that is acceptable, or even understandable, to anyone else.

This recovery is about you. Not them.

Put it on repeat.

Complex trauma has a way of making us feel like we're already dead. That the version of us who was "supposed" to exist & live died, & we're just a husk. What got left behind.

It's not true.

If you are alive to read these words, your journey is not over.

Breathe. Blink. Focus.

Complex PTSD is going to make certain things feel like "choices" that aren't-- that are actually reflexes stemming from trauma wounds-- and make you believe that you have no choices over other things.

Remember that CPTSD gaslights, convincingly-- just like your abusers.

It is categorically unfair that we have to fight like this, in recovery, after having had to fight like that, to survive. This burden shouldn't be on us. But it is-- and we are not about to let our abusers & bullies make one more goddamn decision for us.

Not ever again.

We will not recover from complex trauma until we replace the voices of our abusers & bullies in our head-- & that doesn't happen by accident. We can't "wait" for another voice to magically happen along.

We have to choose that healing, supportive inner voice. Cultivate it.

Complex PTSD will lie to you about how you "have" to speak & behave disrespectfully toward yourself in order to function. The exact opposite is true. The way trauma teaches us to talk to ourselves holds us back in every possible way.

Don't believe CPTSD's lies.

Work your trauma & addiction recovery as if you're showing someone you love, who is struggling w/ exactly the stuff you're struggling with, how to do it.

Work your recovery like you're writing the playbook for someone who needs it. Because, not for nothing, you are.

hi guys

You are under no obligation to involve people, churches, or communities who hurt you in your recovery. Even if they share your name or DNA, or played a significant role in your history.

You do not "owe" anybody else anything. You owe YOURSELF realistic safety & stability.