Sardonicious

two men are sitting on a couch and one of them is wearing a red t-shirt with the word league on it . ALT: two men are sitting on a couch and one of them is wearing a red t-shirt with the word league on it .

Listen all y’all it’s a

a group of people holding up a sign that says welcome to europe ALT: a group of people holding up a sign that says welcome to europe

Should’ve read my new book “How to Spend the Summer Roaming Across Europe Without Getting Caught”

Didn’t have “this is free speech but you shouldn’t be employed anywhere if you’re going to say that” on my fascism bingo card

x.com/acyn/status/...

This is how you make sure kids won’t eat them

a man speaking into a microphone with the words i love you guys on the bottom ALT: a man speaking into a microphone with the words i love you guys on the bottom

Mitch Hedberg is back?!?!

“Adult content” lmao

Worst death imaginable for an Italian: “contaminated guacamole”

two pug dogs are sitting next to each other on a yellow bag . ALT: two pug dogs are sitting next to each other on a yellow bag .

War pugs

Someone in Nebraska loves you,
You’ve got an enemy in Pennsylvania,
and if Netflix is any clue,
Someone you know in Montana is a murderer

Disturbing reason why flight had to be canceled after woman had 'severe diarrhea' and issued public apology Meghan has told her TikTok followers that her sickness affected hundreds of passengers in Indianapolis.

New flying fear unlocked flip.it/.q1xLp

Denverpuglians

two cartoon characters are holding rainbow flags in front of a group of people ALT: two cartoon characters are holding rainbow flags in front of a group of people

Nowadays, everybody wanna talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and motherfuckers act like they forgot about GAYS

son: your dad jokes are stupid
me: they're not "technically" dad jokes
son: what do you mean?
maury: *clears throat*

Gouth Cannlama is the best!!!

It can only ever get more insane the moment a government gets in the business of deciding who gets to look a certain way in public. The law will only get more and more absurd and contradictory.

a man is kneeling on top of a large alligator in the grass . ALT: a man is kneeling on top of a large alligator in the grass .

You’re just thinking like a Fiorata Man

Proposed spacecraft could carry up to 2,400 people on a one-way trip to the nearest star system, Alpha Centauri The design for a 36 mile long spacecraft, called Chrysalis, includes libraries, tropical forests and structural manufacturing facilities, all supported by artificial gravity.

The best part? It will only cost one billion quintillion kajillion dollars (a real figure)

flip.it/f9s.N2

NIMBYism is a disease

a man in a red jacket says you look like you 've seen a gorgeous black ghost on a netflix ad ALT: a man in a red jacket says you look like you 've seen a gorgeous black ghost on a netflix ad

Ghana’s new acting defense minister is a ghost. Easy to understand

Lock up the tourists, too!

a young girl is sitting in a chair with her eyes closed and a watch on her wrist and says `` we know '' . ALT: a young girl is sitting in a chair with her eyes closed and a watch on her wrist and says `` we know '' .

His family’s reaction?

a woman with a headband on her head is looking at a man with the words right below her ALT: a woman with a headband on her head is looking at a man with the words right below her

This is fake, right?

a man in a suit and tie is smoking a cigarette with smoke coming out of his mouth ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smoking a cigarette with smoke coming out of his mouth

Stripped of his residence permit for not maintaining a lit cigarette at all times, a crime under French law

Was all set to look these up on Spotify till I saw the quote…

a woman is eating popcorn from a box that says pop corn on it ALT: a woman is eating popcorn from a box that says pop corn on it

I’m a husband, and my wife wouldn’t mind — she revels in my misfortune

What kind of motorbike are you on, and is it up to the task?

a cartoon lobster is running on the beach with bubbles in the background ALT: a cartoon lobster is running on the beach with bubbles in the background

Quite a sunburn she’s got there