A. Jinnie McManus

The cruelty is the point.

My new friend Kurt Geiger (an $11 thrift find) joined my insufferable yet motivational gym wardrobe tonight. All workout shoes should have crystal flowers, obviously.

A story of hypocrisy in four parts.

I asked her if she wanted help getting down from there and this is the look she gave me.

Instagram vs Reality

She’s a sassy supermodel. Still the fairest of them all.

Happy Halloween!
-(M)innie

Youma and Kumori. Two old shows in transition, trying to do right with some new folks in charge, but lots of baggage to... unpack? overcome.

I wish them nothing but the best this weekend and so should you.❤

Old me would never have believed I can leg press up to 90 pounds and do exercises wearing 2 pound ankle weights!

I’m not done yet. And I’m the face of exhaustion in this picture. But I’m no longer feeling like a failure. I DID IT, FRIENDS. FINALLY! 😭

Today in PT, for the first time since surgery, my leg is still straight again (-5) AND bends how it could before (130)!

BFR workouts and cupping have been gamechangers for me.

Well, I wasn’t going to settle for that.

So I got my knee to 0 in straightness, meaning I could walk without a limp. Then as much as -5. I did that all by myself during a break in PT sessions. But I was so focused on straightness that I lost some bend capabilty and didn’t build up my strength.

I had my left knee replaced December 2024 and manipulated this past February. It has not been an easy recovery. Harder than anyone expected, actually. A perfect knee is -10 (straight) and 140 (bent). My surgical team was pleased when they got me to +4 and 120ish.

She’s the fairest of them all.

So I tried Zenni. Never again. They apparently can’t make the lens I need, but didn’t bother disclosing that before charging. They also won’t refund my supposedly-express shipping cost for sending me unusable glasses. Avoid.

I was feeling sad today, so I let myself exercise at TJ Maxx after PT and then I came home and donated what I’d planned to spend to Sister Carmen Community Center—an amazing local organization that was a lifeline for me and so many other neighbors post-Marshall Fire.

I feel like this thread is going to unhelpful circles and just going to make you madder. But I wanted to give you a more-awake explanation, even if I still don’t think I owe you one, for the sake of our long history.

When I read your posts last night, as someone who feels generally under siege now on personal and professional levels, that’s what I saw you doing. And maybe that’s on me and not you. I dunno. I’m just one person, not a feelings arbiter for the world.

… sometimes people center themselves into something to feel it more, almost like it replaces more helpful actions because you then know you feel bad and it can be checked off a list. “Yes, I have empathy for something that won’t affect me. I know I’m a good person. Next topic!”

I think you’re a thoughtful person and we are a similar age so we tend to feel those thoughts out in the world. But, and this might be read as mean and I really really really really don’t meant it to be..

… saying you understood why some white woman in a video was also afraid. That’s what made me the most angry combined with your other posts.

I did look at your feed. And listen, I am a neglectful friend. I miss birthdays. I can do a full day and not see updates. I’m one of the busiest people you will ever meet and I wish I wasn’t. I’m sorry if I missed something, but all I saw was commonly-reposted stuff and a post from you…

I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want to seem hurtful. I am putting this out in public vs DM because I have zero to hide from anyone. But when you accuse me of a conspiracy, my own baggage requires me to respond beyond just DMs and I feel like you of all people will understand that.

Instead I was told I was reading screenshots and someone was telling me to be mad? Like what. This is my every day life. And you are someone who could help people like me.

I came to you because I wanted you to be aware of what you sound like as someone who will never know what it’s like to be forced to carry your passport with you. And I envy you that. I don’t resent you for it. I took it in good faith that you as an ally would see what I was saying at face value.

If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be speaking to you. It’s that simple. The idea that anyone but me decides when and what I say, for any reason, is deeply hurtful and offensive.

So I’m going to be slow to reply on a busy workday, please don’t read that as purposeful or whatever. I know that you know why I also have trust issues. You played a key role in helping to resolve some of mine, which is why I have no problem saying publicly that I am still grateful to you for that.

Grieve, sure. Equate? Nah. And I don’t actually think she meant to. But that’s what this reads as.

If I’m reading this wrong, you can tell me. But I feel like you’re accusing me of some conspiracy and now I’m a little uneasy putting it another medium. I’ll think about it. I do that. Sometimes I step away and process things. If I come back to another giant thread, I guess I’ll have my answer.

Also, if there were some kind of “performance” going on, I’d have had less typos. 🙃

I chose not to engage directly with you last night because it would not have been helpful or healthy for either of us. I figured I’d sleep on it first. But now I feel like you just want public pats on the head and for your own worldview to be reinforced and it’s kinda weirding me out, to be honest.

I literally just woke up and am not smart yet, but this reaction as an ally to someone telling you ‘you have a voice, here is how you can help’ just reads as punching down and I’m still really baffled by all of this.