hot sam and cheese

Update: we were originally going to go on a little hike but it started raining so we had dinner instead and it was like.....fine.....but also super awkward and we didn't mesh that well I don't think lol. I do not think I'll be hearing from her to hang out anytime soon

"In love with my new throat tattoo" girl you should not be

One of my more Hater Delight things is seeing people get atrocious tattoos on very visible parts of their body that were very clearly done by their uncle Larry in his shed while he's coked out of his mind

Am I the only person on planet earth who was not aware that Meghan Markle was an actress. I thought she was just like, a supermarket cashier who married into royalty

Repressed memories being triggered like YUH

I still set different ringtones for every contact and I will never stop

I should be put down

That thick gelatinous buildup of plaque on your tongue is absolutely exquisite, princess

It's not very Quirky Cool Gorl to Feel Bad but that is my god-given right

If I could start feeling better about myself soon that would be great lol 👍

😌

Hannibal should come out with just one more episode and it'll be Hannibal and Will sucking each other off

Look at them. Look at my children from long ago, being cute

Euuuggghhhh my freakin TUMMY HURTS!! SURELY CAN'T BE FROM EATING A WHOLE PACK OF SOUR PATCH KIDS

Just something to take the edge off

Posting hole and balls at 200k

new shirt, got the idea yesterday https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/47438661-land-of-the-pee-pee

Thinking about the time when I was perhaps 8 or 9 years old and my dad's very drunk friend let me drive us in his golf cart and I crashed us headfirst into a tree immediately

I love ordering my little skincare items from the overseas online pharmacy that only accepts payment via checking and routing number or bitcoin and takes a month to get here

we are both just trying our best

Dunno if it's whose or who's. I barely graduated high school what more do you want from me

Anyway I'm trying to befriend a girl whose BFF was also my former BFF and the former BFF hates both of us now. Will it blossom into a beautiful friendship? Who knows but at least we may get the chance to bitch about it

Unfortunately plan on being more annoying here and treating it like a private twitter account

God gives his toughest battles to his tightest baddies 😩👉👌💦

Fart smella

They should make cigarettes that are good for you and whiten your teeth and improve your lung health and smell good. Just an idea

Taking this opportunity to have a cool new handle that more accurately represents who I am as a person (haunting and silly)

I am very normal. Except for the brain damage