windu pez

Just hit the two year mark of my printer telling me the toner is low but continuing to print perfectly every time. Toner based B&W printers are tanks.

"Dump. Unknown artist. Mixed media."

does anyone know how many spaces come before a comma? i’m trying to detail some heinous crimes in an email

"I would also like to be primaried"

Working on a theory that the most powerful slimeballs in the world only ever compose emails with one hand on their phone while performing sex crimes. Hard to explain their near-illiterate drivel and bizarre use of spaces and punctuation otherwise.

I’m starting to wonder if the president is a treasonous pedophile rapist with dementia who smells absolutely horrible

they just eeeeeehdon't want to. fuckin typo man

Just a heads up that your democratic senator knows they could do this, they just edon't want to

Nuremburg trials is the moderate position

I would say probably the main way that the education I received failed me was in giving me the false impression that everyone agreed these people were bad and were gone and buried in the catacombs of history

Like not just the psychopathic goons who had some memorabilia squirreled away that they could jerk off to in private, but apparently many many others who are just like "you know what, it might make my taxes go down if they kill some brown people so yeah whatever, fuck it man"

It's hard to wrap your mind around so many people leaning so enthusiastically and gladly into emulating the actions, positions and self-conceptions of the literal goddamned nazis.

Let me run the Bond franchise and I’ll blow him up at the end of every movie. Maybe several times within each movie if it feels right. He’ll be back the next movie (or scene) and nobody will talk about it, but man are we gonna explode that guy a LOT.

Unless...

He'd blame the turtle for its own problems. Would definitely be able to give some positive descriptors of his own mother though.

Primaries for senators

Breaking: Charlie Brown running at football

(So he can go be in triple, quadruple, maybe quintuple hell elsewhere)

traditionally, one of the strongest negotiating positions is when the entire world viscerally hates you

Wish he could find a cessation to his suffering on this mortal coil. Truly.

Breaking: Lucy holding football

Yep. Then there's the bottom 5% that's exactly what you expect to blunder in and try to ruin a good time

A certified banger, AND the comments section does not fail to provide exactly what you might expect to show up in the comments on such a piece.

/shakes the tin furiously

this is so utterly beside the point but how does one's ear get that wet

It shouldn’t be forgotten that a big piece of Mamdani’s campaign was simply “cities are cool and lots of people enjoy living in them” which in and of itself dismantles alot of rightwing talking points

if we paid for a few weeks of foreign travel for every American we'd have a much more civilized, less hysterical country

If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing

It's never the ghoul you wish would collapse in the Oval Office

a screenshot reads: OPINION INTERESTING TIMES Did Bad Takes Ruin the Newspaper?