Matt Schwartz

New Onion article dropped. Oh, wait...

I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."

I wasn't aware MTV aired anything BESIDES Ridiculousness.

I mean, sure Mike Johnson is obviously a liar and a horrible excuse for a human being. But I think I've underestimated just how actually stupid he is as well.

I would rather live next door to someone who speaks another language than live next door to someone who doesn’t want to live near people who speak other languages. I know nothing about Person A but I know person B is a shitbird.

It’s quite a feat for someone to sprint past Andrew Cuomo in the racist piece of shit dash, but she’s really going for it.

'Washington Post' editorials omit a key disclosure: Bezos' financial ties Three times in the past two weeks, editorials at the 'Washington Post' failed to disclose that they focused on matters in which owner Jeff Bezos had a material interest.

Three times in the past two weeks, editorials at the 'Washington Post' failed to disclose that they focused on matters in which owner Jeff Bezos had a material interest. n.pr/3X0UZtS

Screenshot of a tweet by Senator Ed Markey that says, “Measles was declared eliminated in the United States in 2000. RFK Jr. must resign.” Below is an NBC News screenshot with the headline “Measles spreading beyond the center of the Utah-Arizona outbreak.” Two news anchors appear on screen.

Put a quack in charge, expect to be royally ducked.

Welcome to Derry poster

Well, the pilot episode of WELCOME TO DERRY really fucked me up. Incredibly disturbing stuff. #stephenking #welcometoderry #it

Genius.

A core feature of our unprecedented Article I constitutional crisis is that the Speaker of the House is permitted to performatively lie in public with impunity from the podium every day & the assembled media in front of him offer approximately no pushback at all on the lies.

CNN Boss Ordered Teardown Censorship After V.I.P. West Wing Visit CNN CEO said to be the latest media boss bending the knee before Donald Trump.

The decline of CNN has a reliable news source has been disheartening for me.
www.thedailybeast.com/cnn-boss-mar...

If one of the appliances in your home, say your cooker or fridge, ran using ten times the power of a normal one, you‘d replace it as fast as possible and never go near that manufacturer again, because you’d think they were catastrophically bad at making stuff.

But it’d be cool if it talked, right?

I don’t know if there’s a more perfect illustration of the utter fucking nonsense that creative pollution by AI will produce than this choice to illustrate the power of Paramount’s new “localization” and “customization” technology by face-swapping Brad Pitt into the lead role of GET OUT

I forgot what I was watching a couple of days ago, but I literally said to my husband "who the fuck goes to an author reading where the author reads from the last page of the book?"

There is a full-on push in NYC right now to use "Mamdani doesn't make Jews 'feel safe'" as a cudgel to get Cuomo into office, and it is utterly disgusting. You know what makes me feel unsafe? People who casually characterize us as a trembling single-issue monolith scared of the big bad Muslim.

I'm over the media using clickbait headlines about the NY Mayor's race that imply it would be close if the Republican candidate dropped out.

That ridiculous assessment deserves about as much weight as if headlines had said "Kamala Harris to win if Trump drops out." Just not a very impressive flex.

Anand Giridharadas to Andrew Cuomo: "First of all, governor, it's 'Mamdani.' This is a very big, diverse city you want to lead. We should get the names right."

It’s amazing how all the reporting is just memory-holing this part

AP: Israel plans to halve aid into Gaza over slow return of dead hostages, a test for the Gaza ceasefire

"a test"? you mean...a violation?

#horror #memes #Facts

Elon Musk Leads Campaign To Force Netflix To Remove Shows With Trans Characters Musk's posts have been seen by tens of millions of users, and many conservatives are now attempting to force Netflix into a removal of LGBTQ+ content.

THE PARADOX HOTEL features a trans character as does the next Assassins novel THREE HITMEN AND A BABY and I will keep on writing trans characters and Elon Musk should fuck off into the sun.

I was sent this by a Georgian this morning. 2025 premiums vs 2026 premiums for someone making $65k a year.

Republicans in Washington did this.

This is what I'm fighting to stop. This is what’s at stake in this shutdown fight.

Heidi: one of the original faces of Project Runway will be here. guess who it is?
Me: Tim G—
Heidi: that’s right! Michael Kors!

Post by Donald Trump that says: 'Our movie making business has been stolen from the United States of America, by other Countries, just like stealing “candy from a baby.” California, with its weak and incompetent Governor, has been particularly hard hit! Therefore, in order to solve this long time, never ending problem, I will be imposing a 100% Tariff on any and all movies that are made outside of the United States. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! President DJT'

This is the kind of thing you say when you have no idea how anything actually works.

GOP lawmaker said trans people "harm" children. He just pled guilty to child porn charges. - LGBTQ Nation He was caught sharing hundreds of images of kids, including pictures of adults raping seven-year-olds.

GOP lawmaker said trans people “harm” children. He just pled guilty to child porn charges. -

“Every accusation is a confession" keeps ringing true day by day.

www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/09/gop-...

No lies detected.

Another stupid fucking column by Ezra “bend the knee” Klein platforming hateful racist Ben Shapiro, titled “Ben Shapiro and I Talk Political De-escalation”

Jeffery Dahmer and I Talk Cooking Recipes