ConstantineX

Friends are the absolute best. Received this beauty from one in the post this morning because her and I share an abiding love of LCD Soundsystem. Gorgeous book, beautifully bound and with fantastic photos throughout.

There would be casualties. Namely me. Jonesy takes a dim view of the actual carrier I have for her.

This would result in deep lacerations to one’s arse being explained in A&E.

Cat haters are, in my experience, a terrifying bunch. People who claim indifference to cats, meanwhile, are simply individuals who've never taken the time to get to know a really great cat.

I don't deny that dogs can sometimes be quite lovely but what I will say is I don't trust their opinions. If a cat recommended me an album it had bought, I'd totally check it out. If a dog did the same, I'd promise to listen to the album, out of politeness, with no intention of actually doing so

Good Lord. I go away for three months and come back to discovering you’re listening to this…

…which I last heard off my nut during those weeks in hospital in Guildford in 98 on high strength pethidine.

What a set list that is!

She’s back in now stalking and complaining about not being allowed to kill and eat a huge stinging thing….

Nothing like early morning drama to get the blood flowing.

Large bee had gotten into the flat. Jonesy was launching herself at it like a furry Exocet and I had to wrestle her out of the room and then shepherd the bee back outside.

It was like trying to convince a drunk they don’t want to fight!

HahahahaahHa. I LOVE the spirit of enquiry there Fi. Thank God for the shower curtain! Or in my case, thank Argos!

Hahahha. Yup. I lay there thinking ‘ I haven’t died so where’s the pain then?’

I slipped getting out of the bath not so long ago and missed twatting my head bu a whisker. Not long after texted a pal saying ‘Fuck. I’ve started having falls’.

It’s the modem equivalent of being robbed by a highwayman on the over night London coach circa 1720.

That’s one big unit of a cat. Fantastic!

Hahahahahha. Yeah that is terrifying.

Is there a more chilling phrase in English than ‘Windows is Updating’?

‘An Evening of Interpretative Dance’ maybe…

Sir Keir looking at a laptop

Sir Keir's handlers delete posts after he calls himself "MechaThatcher" and describes Ronald Reagan as "the supreme daddy".

“Gregg Wallace to sue BBC over alleged autism discrimination”- a mediocre white man with a massive ego can’t understand why he is not able to wiggle himself out of this.

I think the broader internet would be more receptive to criticism about Kojima if the people making it were not, 99% of the time, laughably and pitifully envious of his success and mad it isn't them

I mean morally and spiritually you could argue he was for years!

If there is a hell Norman Tebbit is now on a slow moving bicycle doing an eternity’s worth of laps of the lake of fire pursued by demons who catch and devour him every half hour.

Then they cough him up and once more start the pursuit shouting ‘On yer bike Norman!’

She really is.

It is my fervent belief that whatever magic is left on this rock is contained in cats.

Oh will you look at that absolute beauty.

I’m compelled to head to the kitchen for treats by a mystical force!

My own knows this weakness in me and flashes her amber eyes at me!

Those eyes! Such a beauty even if she only has eyes for the chicken!

I was unaware of ‘The Salt Path’ before today, read a few paragraphs of the Observer piece and realised I didn’t give a single solitary fuck to know either and gave up.

I’m celebrating this as personal growth!

If it helps any Vee I have a weekly meeting I attend online and realised last week that I look like the bloody Unabomber or some loon who lives in a cabin in the woods ranting about conspiracy theories!

Beard and hair needed hacking back….

Sending love and solidarity Ben. The worst of all news.

One minute scrolling for LFC transfer gossip, the next in bits, discovering the tragic loss of Diogo Jota and his brother.

The devastation that poor family must be feeling is unimaginable.

YNWA.

I feel like we’ve been waging an unacknowledged campaign of terrorism on women since forever. Statistically it’s hard to refute.

I wouldn’t fucking mind but the prosecution rate for the serious stuff is like 93%. Why are these fuckers never truly held to account?

Un-fucking-believable. I bet he doesn’t even do 5 years now.