Matt Fried

Same

A nearly minute long ad where he doesn’t cite a single accomplishment or policy proposal.

But he’s doing great and not going anywhere. Who is this ad for? Eric Adams’s mom?

There’s never enough coffee to deal with this bullshit.

Okay, so he pooped in every room of the building, bites every employee, and walks around with a permanent boner.

That doesn’t mean the board can just vote him out of office!

It’s weird how cigarettes cause cancer but are vital to surviving America in 2025.

Signs your husband is part of the male loneliness epidemic:

1. No real friends.
2. Too much time on social media.
3. Starts amassing a Sun Visor collection.

Joe Burrow Stats, Height, Weight, Position, Draft, College | Pro-Football-Reference.com Checkout the latest stats for Joe Burrow. Get info about his position, age, height, weight, college, draft, and more on Pro-football-reference.com.

Burrow for contrast:

www.pro-football-reference.com/players/B/Bu... Joe Burrow's Career 4th quarter comebacks and game-winning drives | Pro-Football-Reference.com

Jalen Hurts Stats, Height, Weight, Position, Draft, College | Pro-Football-Reference.com Checkout the latest stats for Jalen Hurts. Get info about his position, age, height, weight, college, draft, and more on Pro-football-reference.com.

Agreed. To add, though: Hurts has actually had more career comeback wins and game-winning drives than Joe Burrow.

www.pro-football-reference.com/players/H/Hu...

As an Eagles fan, I am, too. Barkley stayed healthy for 16 games - something he’d only done twice before ‘24. That said: the O-line is mostly intact this season and I think Hurts will add at least 1 new wrinkle to his game.

Josh Allen is the reason why I give all QB prospects the benefit of the doubt. Unless they get drafted by the Jets.

I do think Hurts is the next best example of that. I’m an Eagles fan but watching his development over the past 5 years has been impressive. Is he as talented as Allen? No. But he’s grown to a point where he can get to - and win - a Super Bowl. And the locker room buys what he sells.

Good God. So Lance is a slam dunk first rounder, and Jalen Hurts “isn’t a top-10 QB” in 2025.

Good stuff, NFL. Real Fulbright scholarship-type work.

I always wondered how bad Lance could actually be. I don’t follow college football. So his poor play had everything to do with… complete lack of experience?

They’ve been there since at least 2016. Like many of us, they re-lo’d during the boom of streaming and were one of the few who actually made some money.

I feel like it’s basically 8chan with ads now.

Based on the ‘25 NFC Championship Game, does Dan Quinn improve as a coach or is he the reason the Commanders miss the Super Bowl yet again?

Finally: a Pope I can get behind.

Lo and behold: the beloved TV guy from the past 30 years is actually something of a mean prick.

We have lived a year under the tyranny of Moo Deng

A CBNC headline that reads: “Waymo to begin testing in Philadelphia with safety drivers behind the wheel”.

Google *friendly robot Philadelphia* and then take your best educated guess at what happens to these cars after 24 hours on the Philly streets…

That is one big pile of shit from jurassic park

Every day I read the news

What hurt me most about ‘24 - having lived through the past decade, in and near places like Westlake - was exactly that.

I lived just north of McArthur Park for 3 years. Took the Metro from that spot plenty of times. This clip encapsulates that whole ‘hood very well. Westlake has plenty of problems - MS-13 is not one of them.

Sad that ICE will show-up there before housing assistance or a job fair ever does.

Philly fan here, but it’s Hurts.

1. Better record as a starter.
2. Better QBR two of the last three seasons.
3. Better ability to extend plays as a runner.
4. Better postseason record.
5. Better intangibles ie leadership/character/culture.

How many years does Saquon have left? As an Eagles fan, I love him but, with his injury history, there’s no way he has another season like ‘24 in him.

A murder’s row of candidates who scream at cater waiters.

I have a similar approach. You can have all the ideas in the world (and should when outlining). But then you actually write and everything changes.

The CDC recommends that you all pay me $20. Like the White House, I have no sources to back this up.

If I ever become a CEO, I’m going to wire every room in my skyscraper to play “Mambo No. 5” when I walk in. The bathrooms AND the elevator bay.