@mathturbator.bsky.social
Physicist turned full-time stand-up comedian.
We can say the word “retard” again because it’s no longer punching down: they’re the ones in power.
09.08.2025 20:45 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Kinda fitting if America’s Reichstag Fire is “Big Balls got attacked!”
06.08.2025 18:23 — 👍 62 🔁 13 💬 3 📌 0Looks like it’s time to move Trump to a new parish.
23.07.2025 20:14 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0With Trump and all the Republicans acting like giant babies, it’s unsurprising that they’re getting fucked by Epstein.
16.07.2025 22:04 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was a Doritos™ Locos Taco at the Taco Bell in Pacifica.
15.07.2025 00:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0History shows us over and over that it won’t get better until it gets far far worse, so I’m glad it’s at least happening quickly.
04.07.2025 08:13 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I stopped observing the news, so I can’t be responsible for Schrödinger’s bombing of Iran.
20.06.2025 00:27 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If we want to destroy Iran, shouldn’t we just drop all the MAGA supporters on them?
18.06.2025 19:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They’re doing this because they hate properly seasoned food.
10.06.2025 03:56 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Not @theonion.com
30.05.2025 17:44 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Jon Allen - Vaccines
#vaccine #autism #trains #comedy #standupcomedy
Refusing to endanger their students by giving into the Trump administration’s illegal demands, Harvard has finally become a safety school.
24.05.2025 06:58 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Everything sucks; we can’t even put ketchup on the Pope anymore! Thanks a lot, Chicago.
08.05.2025 23:10 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Of course America is going to off-shore and outsource even our death camps. What happened to American pride? What happened to building American?
15.04.2025 01:32 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Joe Biden left the US economy so weak that it could be destroyed by just one man.
06.04.2025 02:17 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Even Susan Smith is like, “sheeeeesh, tone it down!”
24.03.2025 13:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Tomorrow, I give a 43 year-old bearded man a handjob. This is what my life decisions have led to.
16.03.2025 00:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Gauging interest: how many of you would contribute to a Patreon to support me in an attempt to live for a whole year off of only Hello Kitty branded products and services? I’ve found ramen and sake, I think I could do this…
13.03.2025 05:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Just curious, but why are the lawyers at the DOJ, and attorneys’s general offices, acting in bad faith to undermine the rule of law not disbarred by the various bar associations?
04.03.2025 15:12 — 👍 13 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0In all fairness, if the Department of Education had been working, there wouldn’t be any Trump supporters.
04.03.2025 13:08 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Trump supporters getting screwed by Trump should be a category on PornHub.
27.02.2025 13:43 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They need to make horse blinders for people with ADHD. Or give horses Adderall. Something.
13.02.2025 16:09 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Gonna be ironic if the only member of the Trump administration to be assassinated is RFK Jr.; Alanis gonna have to write a new lyric.
12.02.2025 15:39 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Happy 2685th birthday Japan; you don’t look a day over 1600!
11.02.2025 16:56 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0At least it wasn’t one person’s fault; they can blame the entire team. #superbowl
10.02.2025 03:22 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0This game is gonna save a lot of people in Philadelphia from angrily being beaten with socks full of batteries; they’ll be joyfully beaten. #superbowl
10.02.2025 02:16 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Is there a mercy rule in the NFL? #superbowl
10.02.2025 02:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I enjoy that Trump is having to sit through the halftime show. #superbowl
10.02.2025 01:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Taylor Swift is currently drier than the Sahara. #superbowl
10.02.2025 01:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The Chiefs are feeling exactly what God must have felt when he threw that tree on Greg Abbott: What?!?!? This used to work!!!!
10.02.2025 01:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
