Xzigalia

Just discovered that the ex I have been describing for 20 years as my ideal body type - strikingly tall, unusually long arms and legs, very slim, exceptionally long fingers, "almost like Marfan Syndrome" - does, in fact, have Marfan Syndrome.
There truly is somebody out there to perve on everyone.

This gynecologist appointment could have been an email.

Crucifixion is traditional, I believe.

Refreshing my screen every ten minutes to see if Mitch McConnell is still alive.

Little Greenhouse Of Horrors

No, those are a pair, I'm just bad at knitting.

Do they... match your butthole?

Doctor Dolittle series.

Carry a walking stick.

THAT'S what you meant by "I'm having bottom surgery?" Then what the hell am I supposed to do with this 72 pack of glow-in-the-dark novelty condoms?!

When a pig enters a palace, the pig does not become a king. The palace becomes a sty.

What were electric eels called before electricity was invented?
(The answer will shock you!)

I hope you polished them properly. Wouldn't want you missing out when it's tine to shine.

Sounds peaceful.

His father made sure he'd be tough enough to be a drag queen: A Boy Named Sue Paul.

Text your ex. As a treat.

Potassium.

Fibromyalgia.

I find it very interesting to note how many people do not quite grasp that they do not live in a video game or movie. During the Pandemic it was fascinating to see how many people just felt like COVID couldn't happen to them, because they were the Main Character.

"What are you libs going to do about CLINTON being in the Epstein files?!"
We keep TELLING you, we DON'T LIKE HIM. Call us back if Dolly Parton shows up in there.

You have a rare humility. Most men I have interacted with subconsciously see themselves as a main character in an action movie waiting for their call to adventure. Attractive women who enter their mental movie are instinctively perceived as existing to be potential love interests, like in the films.

You do communicate a lot like my autistic loved ones. Many of them don't know how to flirt, can't recognise when someone is flirting with them, and would struggle to believe somebody would flirt with them in the first place.

WWJS
(Who Would Jesus Shoot?)

No. More people should be like Beauregard.

Then I wish you luck with finding such a group. I read your convo about consent to being approached. I think part of that issue is that people try to date / shag strangers instead of building intimacy on a foundation of friendship, which would allow both parties to look for signs of interest first.

Well, I wish you the best of luck at any rate. I hope you have a good friend group who supports and understands you.

Or a ton of some delicious fruit.

Attractiveness can be a factor to an individual, but not universally. There is a saying that everyone is somebody's type. I like real skinny, short guys ~5'6 & wonky teeth. My ex liked hugely obese girls & birthmarks. Do talk to your female friends, not by putting them on the spot on a public forum.

First orgy, huh?