President Warren G. Harding 2028

Giggling with absolute glee as I notice Face/Off is on Netflix, as it means some Gen Z kid is about to click on it and have no idea what the fuck just happened

this but in Latin

If you can't fit an entire 5lb bologna tube in your air fryer, it's too small.

Just wait 'til you get my strongly worded letter, you war criminal.

Touching base is cool, circling back ain't too bad, and putting a pin in it does the trick, but you know what really gets me going? Running it up the flagpole

Capitalism be like that

Screenshot from The Onion, originally published October 9, 2002. Headline: Frank Gehry No Longer Allowed To Make Sandwiches for Grandkids Below it, a photo of a plate with multiple deconstructed sandwiches balanced precariously, vaguely resembling a Frank Gehry building.

Frank Gehry, 1929–2025 www.nytimes.com/2025/12/05/a...

Instead Of Relying On Wealthy Donors, Congressional Candidate Kat Abughazaleh Is Using A Twitch Stream To Raise Money – And Fight A Federal Indictment "If you can't find joy during fascism, you don't have anything"

“if you can't find joy during fascism, you don't have anything.” listen to @katmabu.bsky.social y’all

At least once you defeat them, the game is over

they’re already starting to eat each other, so at least that’s fun

Has anyone ever had a narcissist as a coworker and how did you not scream every day

Bluesky Wrapped and it's how many times your own joke was explained to you

It would cost $30 billion to end homelessness in the USA.

so many cool, inventive and interesting animated projects none of you even knew were being made for the past few years just got shitcanned because of this netflix/wb merger

When you're like "geez there's no animation jobs" "geez there's like no new shows anymore", this is why

behead me like one of your french aristocrats

A children’s book titled “Why is the President Orange?”

Bribing a FIFA official (he is wearing a shirt that says ‘FIFA Official’) by handing him a great big sack with a dollar sign and the word ‘BRIBE’ on it

An Ass is greater than the sum of its cheeks

wtf is a FIFA peace prize? that's like being an NFL laureate in physics

Sorry can’t post right now, I just won the FIFA Heisman

What the actual hell is going on in New Orleans

Hear me out—
Evil Dead: The Musical

want to write a show that advertises itself with “you’re gonna want to be a little too high for this.”

i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar

CLOTHING MANUFACTURER: these denim pants are great what do you call them

LEVI STRAUSS: they are called Levi-

LEVI’S WIFE JEAN: *does throat cut motion*

LEVI STRAUSS: jeans. they are called jeans

What idiot called them robot umpires and not entering the digital ERA

what idiot called it menopause and not the hot girl decade

What idiot called it a phalanx and not polyarmoury

What idiot called it Bambi and not Doe Hard

the same democrats who voted to confirm said villains?