Bren wanted a cat for his birthday one year. So, we got Eggy. Eggy hates him and bats at him constantly. But she LOVES me. Anyway, she keeps stealing his computer chair and goes after him for wanting it. She doesn't give a fuck about that chair when he's not here.

If I've learned anything from The Black Parade it's that Gerard Way needs to battle Trump. I didn't make the rules.

Remember the band Lit?

I see the pattern now. It's monthly. Cool.

How did Facebook last longer than Myspace?

I'm about to lose my fucking mind.

Adventure Time just made me tear up. My period better come tomorrow.

Dude. Yes.

Reply to them "if you sue me, you're gay." That should hold em off.

Between dismantling the department of education and covering for Epstein, Republicans really love fucking children.

Nice try "guys" and even some "gals." We aren't talking about Chip Chantry's show at Next In Line Comedy Club in Philly this Friday.

I hate FB anymore. no one laugh reacts my jokes.

OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!

No one's going to a 1 llama carnival.

Ian made curry tonight and it SLAPPED!

He looks like he just took a quick peak at an active nuclear reactor.

If someone asked you your favorite cryptid and you don't say Rake, you're a fucking poser.

If I ever get a dying wish, I need to meet Zak Bagans. so I can tell him I hate him and he needs to go to the scary rooms by himself. and Aaron watches.

🧶

making a bent penis Trident. #crochet

as much as I want to believe jimmie's chicken shack about "when you die, you're dead," I prefer reincarnation so I can be an indoor and outdoor cat.

I keep forgetting I have this app.

What if you finally love yourself and other people don't?

Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's break up hurt me more than my parents'.

I think I'll wear a dress today.

"I never really liked Jesus, anyways. Part of me is glad he's gone."

*Awkward silence*

"He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

My babe asked me to draw him and his brother a picture. @adambmet.bsky.social

I can't wait to be home with my pets.

I just bought a grooming vacuum, too. And I love it.