Tom Jeltsch

I could stomach the game 3 loss, but this shit is embarrassing #mariners

Me to 2 YO: Do you want to watch Paw Patrol?
2 YO: No! WAH!
Me: Okay, point to the show you want
2 YO: *points to Paw Patrol*
Me: oh, my bad
#dadlife

Epstein isn't interested in a vagina that old

If I had a wattle like he does I'd hate underneath angles too

If the Seattle Mariners won the World Series over the Milwaukee Brewers it would be a lot of fun and sneaky revenge for 1970.

British Columbia, it’s not too late to come over to the right side of history. The Blue Jays play 2,500 miles away. They are not your home team!

Catchers doing fast guy things is my favorite part of baseball

It's weird to question managerial decisions in a 10-3 win, but I think Dan could have done better today #mariners #postseason #spoiledandgreedy #wtwft

Chef Boiardi

Dominic Canzone

Damn dude. Mariners are using the power of friendship. It's actually happening

Aren't situations like this exactly why you put Emerson Hancock on the #postseason roster? #mariners

Celebrate Columbus Day the traditional way: by breaking into someone's house and declaring it's yours now and then getting any food but Indian and insisting that it's actually Indian

This Is Fascism

Q. What did one carrot say to the other carrot?

A. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!

GOOD. VIBES. ONLY. 🔱

The whole squad wanted in on the @mariners.com-inspired goal celly!

Ahhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhh

How often does walking a guy to set up the double play actually work out?

If you're wondering where having your ace enter in relief of a tied playoff game ranks among sports things it's number 1

a baseball stadium with a miller lite sign in the background ALT: a baseball stadium with a miller lite sign in the background

Logan coming out of the bullpen like

The downside of having an advanced child is that she hit the #threenager stage early #dadlife

Are you available out of the bullpen tonight? I might trust you more than Caleb Furgeson

Well fuck. #mariners

I'm so glad Dan learned his lesson in game 1 #mariners #postseason

😂

Sure, but have you seen Hunter Biden's laptop?

I know transgender women aren't men, because they don't leave the seat up.