Jess Phoenix

Why is the 4 backwards?? 😫

If “artist” can also include a musician (who did art, too!) then see ‘The Devil and Daniel Johnston’
It’s older but it’s my fav doc of all time.

A photo of the control panel of a microwave. The digital screen says “child.”

Thank goodness for the “CHILD” setting on microwaves. I hate it when my children are still frozen in the middle.

🎶Sometimes you wanna go

Where people kiiinda know your faaace!

Dun dun dun!🎶

Sorry! You tagged the wrong Jess Phoenix ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

An image of a sensitive and dorky young man walking dejectedly

Real “sad walk George Michael” energy right there 😆

She did a great job! And white-fleshy colored Gary is pretty disturbing 😅

DAYUM!!

That sounds very similar to mine — the never-ending mucus especially. But I also had a 100.1 fever. My SIL got it last week and had a 101 fever 😬

Is it a sore throat and fever/aches followed by SO much mucus? I mean, I know that’s kind of the definition of a cold, but the fever/chill/aches when I was recently sick made it feel worse than a “regular” cold :/

My husband, waking up: What time is it?

Me: It’s nine.

Husband: O’CLOCK?!

When I’m sad, I like to watch the pre-made iPhone Memories slideshows, because they feel unhinged.

“Dinners Together” montage?

Hell yeah, show me photos of my husband with food purposefully in his teeth set to smooth jazz.

Add a photo of when I got food poisoning?

Perfect. Thank you, phone ❤️

Wouldn’t have ‘em any other way ❤️

A black & white cat who has twisted his dumb little body around his water bowl to drink from it, instead of just coming up to it from the front.

Buddy, I think there’s an easier way to drink that water…

Literally looked for this sandwich the first time I went to Paris because of this scene ❤️

My grandma’s toaster from the 60’s that I’ve had since college finally died last year — RIP. But my blender from the 60’s is still going strong!

"I don't want to just say no 'cause what if something fun happens?"-- @jessphoenix.bsky.social on Dry January

Haha, neeeever mention smoking if you don’t actually smoke 😅 That shit can haunt you!

Last night, I was almost asleep when an urgent dream-thought popped into my head:

“Bananas have two asses.”

So what high profile job is Tr*mp gonna give the My Pillow guy?

Eleanor Rigby,
Plays with her frisbee
And eats snacks
And chases a log

She is a dog.

Wrong Jess Phoenix! Just FYI 😊

Never change 🥲

We’re trying to make/keep it that way! 🤞

I don’t gave any starter packs, but I’ve been hanging here since last year, and following @marawilson.bsky.social has been the best thing for my timeline. She’s like the Mayor of Bluesky!

Welcome to the jungle.

Hey, buddy 😊

An ad featuring a simple line drawing of a cat (standing like a human) with a stream of pee coming out of its butt. The texts: your home smells like cat pee? Try this.

Not sure what’s worse: that the internet gave me this ad (rude!) or that it was ANIMATED.

I forgot about Neko Atsume and now I’m realizing a gentle, whimsical time-suck like this is EXACTLY what I need right now ❤️

Yikes, dude, I thought that was a real spider 😳