Cunnus

She honkin on my shoo until I mimimimi

Giein it the big ASIMO walk through the town yesterday cause of the ice and I seen some cunt sprinting through the welly like the flash. Well and truly feelin my thirties.

Big Bullywug drooling

Faerûn to ban all XL Bullywugs by the end of 1492 DR.

Was part of a production of Hamlet in 2010 or so, which featured a male Ophelia and female Hamlet, we did it at the Brian Cox Theatre in Glasgow, and he came to see it…

Similar to Twitter, but you can check different feeds (I’m in Newskies, which shows users’ first posts). There’s no algorithm, I don’t think, so the feeds are pretty random.

I never even thought of diluting juice, cause that’s so normal for me, my mum referred to it as ‘squash’ the other week and I wanted to disown her.

Here in Scotland we call ‘soda’ or ‘pop’ fizzy juice. But a lot of actual Scottish words are very funny.

Captain Haddock saying “what a week, huh?” And Tintin replying “Captain, it’s Wednesday” meanwhile Snowy sniffs a pint of beer in the corner.

Am knackered man.

The Aberdeen Hiss I once had to stay overnight in Aberdeen for work. As an introduction to a spooky story, that’s as bold a first sentence as you can get.

In honour of the spooky season, I wrote a wee short story about a scary thing that happened to me once in Aberdeen 🎃💨

michaelmphysics.medium.com/the-aberdeen...

Myself and three other friends just spent 2hrs (they were longer) organising our DayZ base. It’s a thing of beauty that’ll last a few days before people start putting things in the wrong place, or we get raided. But damn our armoury looks cool.

Always mind seeing Bill Bailey in a Dragonball top and thinking it was moich.

So I’m doing chaos karaoke with the gang tonight.
Everyone has a number 1-8. We roll a d8 and whoever’s number it lands on has to sing. Then we roll a d20 to see what song it is.

Crit fail means the group decides what song the victim sings. Natty 20 means they pick who sings & what song.

Mind the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry drugs a woman so he can play with her collectible toys, then invites George to do the same, then Elaine ends up doing it and the only person that sees a problem with it is Kramer?

“Come on…”
*checks note on my sweaty hand*
“Scoflam!”

Misato walking thru the doorway: what a week huh? Shinji looking exhausted: misato, it’s Tuesday

good morning bluesky

Started my new job today! (Playing Day Z again)

The past month I’ve felt like I’ve been in a 90’s sitcom. I spoke to a lass who went to school with someone named ‘Seven’, I’ve met pals in a coffee shop regularly for the first time in ages, a friend used, and was caught, using a disabled toilet, and I just got offered free cable (fire stick).