Phil Gonzales

You are more than justified in referring to The Bandit as "A Brian Bloom character" at parties.

And it must follow as Greenland follows Venezuela, so will more murders follow this if they are not stopped.

“Let me repeat: the Department of Homeland Security is lying to the American ppl about a shooting committed by one of their agents in broad daylight. The Trump Administration and Secretary Kristi Noem are treating U.S. citizens as disposable casualties in their lawless mass deportation campaign …”

They’re probably scrambling to find dirt on an innocent woman shot dead so they can go on TV with “she’s no angel” stories

Constant sealing and cleaning issues. Arms will wear through sealant at different rates on same armrest.

Next time you’re at someone’s kitchen with a marble countertop, bring in the iPad and imagine your arms resting on the countertop for 60-75 minute stretches before intermission.

As someone who works in a performing arts center as a tech, building engineer and helps with cleaning, this is the worst idea.

Customers bump into armrests in aisles constantly. Bump you thigh or knee into stone. Mmmm. So good!

Stone is cold, has no cushion. Ask Mr Lincoln sitting at his memorial

"Naughty" and "Nice" aren't mutually exclusive concepts.

Santa cannot cross running water which is why he relies on the reindeer to carry him, unconscious, through the sky. #XmasFacts

As Santa Claus Is Coming To Town taught us, Santa has no external genitalia. He reproduces by forming a mucus sac that he fills with his eggs which are fertilized by an elf queen and that then become his elves who live for a year before dying. Their carcasses become the gifts he delivers. #XmasFacts

A satirical movie poster edit based on the 2007 film The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. ​The poster features a dramatic, cloudy sky and a wide landscape. In the foreground, the bodies of two men (originally Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck) have been edited so that their heads are replaced with plastic toy animal heads: the man in the center has a long green dragon head from the board game Grabbin' Dragons, and the man standing behind him has a pink hippo head from the game Hungry Hungry Hippos. ​The original title text has been edited with colorful, mismatched fonts to read: "THE ASSASSINATION OF GRABBIN' DRAGONS BY THE COWARD HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS." The names "Brad Pitt" and "Casey Affleck" remain at the top, and the original movie's credits block and "Coming Soon" text are visible in the center.

I used to be creative.

One sentence horror:
There's a ghost in here!

Yesssssss

I couldn't believe he'd actually swallowed a whole mouse like his only frame of reference re: animal swallowing was Tom and Jerry shorts or the song I Know An Old Lady.

Whenever someone has a mouse problem, commentors always say GET A CAT but I have TWO CATS and their reaction to the presence of mice has always been sweet fuck-all. Except the one time one of our cats actually ATE A MOUSE WHOLE like a cartoon cat and then threw up the inside out corpse.

YouTube video by Phil Gonzales Anakin - Redux

There's a really good edit of it on th'Tube:
youtu.be/ZiyJUyoN0ZE

Perfect album from the year I turned 16? There were a few viable candidates, but only one sure choice.

19. Remember hearing Paul Hardcastle's 19 on the radio.

roger rabbit is holding a stack of plates ALT: roger rabbit is holding a stack of plates

Nine times in the theater!

Oliver Opinions?

YouTube video by Phil Gonzales The Nightmare Before Christmas - Whose Skin?!

In honor of Skeleton Season, the greatest conversation I've yet had with my older daughter. #NightmareBeforeChristmas #Skellington
youtu.be/If7cwlZRZLE

Bathroom laws are child abuse.

OMG, what a wonderful writeup by Jessica Armbruster! She nailed exactly what I'm going for with "Trust ̶E̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶s̶ Exorcises"! I will note that my Instagram autocorrect got carried over and it should be Corinna Troth - not Truth! Although Corinna is a VERY truthful collaborator.

Illustrated horror-themed poster for Trust Exorcises. Two cartoonish figures—both stylized versions of the same man—balance on precarious wooden planks mounted to a spinning wheel labeled “TRUST.” The wheel’s surface is divided into textured, colorful segments. The figure on the left appears startled, while the one on the right is falling backward. Smoke-like tendrils frame the scene. At the top, the text reads, “The Reviews are POURING IN for Trust Exorcises!” Below, the show title “Trust Exorcises” is split across top and bottom in distorted, glowing letters.

(Two reviews on faded background) A faded version of the Trust Exorcises poster serves as the background for two review quotes: Review 1 – Title: “Now I Have A Crush on Phil” “Phil is a gifted storyteller, and here he is telling stories of his experiences in a competitive theater program in Texas. His description of the abusive theater director are riveting, and I left wanting to hear more about literally all of it.” Review 2 – Title: “Great show about a disturbing topic” "I'm not sure how I ended up enjoying a memoir of an abusive high school experience, but Phil Gonzales managed it. Amazing story telling and emotional honesty and genuine humor amidst the pain. This is great theater.”

(Third review on faded background) A single review quote is centered on a transparent background over the faded show poster: Review 3 – Title: “Intense but funny too” “The possible darker side of the theater and high school experience explored by an engaging and often hilarious storyteller. He says he has trust issues but he trusts the audience with some truly painful and damaging memories. But on the whole, he uplifts the audience as well with his humor and insistence that the manipulated and abused are not the broken ones. It’s a dark but very entertaining bit of storytelling!”

(Fourth review on faded background) A long review is overlaid on the poster background with the show's title barely visible behind it: Review 4 – Title: “It Charms. It Challenges. We have a crush on Phil” “Phil Gonzales charms and challenges the audience with his storytelling. I found myself laughing and gasping only moments apart. I think only someone who has truly mulled through and exorcised their past can tell this story with Phil’s level of precision, nimbleness, and humor. Yet, due to a wheel of chance, he never tells the same story the same way twice. You’ll leave the show examining the shadows of your past and perhaps encounters with similar people or experiences — i think that is a sign of a powerful production. We are all better for exorcising with Phil.”

You have three more chances to catch my show at #MinnesotaFringe!

Wednesday, 8/06 – 7 p.m.

Friday, 8/08 – 10 p.m.

Saturday, 8/09 – 8:30 p.m.

At the Rarig Nolte Xperimental Theatre”

minnesotafringe.org/shows/2025/t...

What else do you have to say?! Maybe start with what JFK was blown away *by*! A searing guitar solo? A delicious hot buttered roll. A springtime rainbow? Maria Callas's 1955 recording of "La Traviata"? WHAT?

True

The people who block you aren't interested in listening to good faith discussions. Be happy you're rid of them.

I commend our local media. All these people know ALL these people. They’re doing unbelievable work today

Melissa Hortman, who was assassinated last night, was the Speaker of the Minnesota House in the 2023-2024 session, when Democrats ran the state government.

That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.

A stylized promotional poster for the Minnesota Fringe Festival, running July 31 to August 10, 2025. At the top, the Minnesota Fringe logo is accompanied by a cartoon gray cat and the festival dates in bold black and blue font, with the website “minnesotafringe.org” below in white text. The central image shows two cartoonish male characters on a large spinning wheel reminiscent of a game show or carnival attraction. The man on the left is wearing glasses, a half-open blue shirt, black t-shirt, and dark jeans, stepping cautiously forward. The man on the right is flailing backwards, wearing a mustard-yellow long-sleeve shirt and green pants, with a shadowy black stain spreading from his chest. The wheel beneath them is divided into colorful segments and appears to be dislodging or breaking apart, creating a sense of chaos and imbalance. Wispy white and green smoke-like trails swirl around the wheel, enhancing the surreal, supernatural tone. Above the characters is the text “Raffish Ripoff Productions Presents TRUST,” with “TRUST” in large, glowing, fractured letters. Below them, the rest of the show's title reads “Exorcises” in a similarly fractured, glowing style, with scattered and overlapping letters. The subtitle reads “At the Rarig Xperimental Theater.” The overall color palette is eerie and theatrical, dominated by greens, purples, and electric blues.

If you're in the Twin Cities at the end of July/beginning of August and you want to see a mostly improvised storytelling show about my high school theater experience and how it fucked me up but good, you really only have one option. #MNFringe

Art by the inimitable Mads Torres (madstorres.com)