Kriss

My husband has forgotten shaving supplies and underwear. And wants to know if I brought them. Look, either ask me to pack for you or don’t.

Sorry straight people, but your parade was boring af

Have just realized I need to name a litter of kittens after Taylor Swift albums like now bring me smol cats I shall baptize dem

The secret to happiness is perspective, like for instance if you have enough olives in a martini then it’s essentially just a salad with very strong dressing so

I was about to say becoming bipedal was clearly a mistake but my cat just got startled off the couch and smashed into a table so

Now I’m envisioning the end of the ceremony like releasing doves at a wedding, only with even more audible chaotic flapping

This is a somewhat odd way for an EdX course to go viral but not technically inaccurate. EdX courses are free to all unless you would like your work graded for EdX credit in which case there is a fee.

Agreed. My husband gets so much junk to his phone and I had to explain that I don’t because he did political contributions several years ago and this is why I won’t.

Look, all I'm saying is at least nightmare fuel is renewable energy

Firefly rebels: you can’t take the skyyy from meeeeee
Capitalism: hold my beer

And in an unexpected twist, it turns out the most punk rock things of all are supporting public broadcasting and patronizing your local library and not cheating on your homework with AI

Wow, that is some serious winning.

As we board the subway at 11pm dressed for the theater I look around and realize that we are giving strong “Batman’s parents” right now and I have to tell you that although Loki Cat is absolutely convinced that he is the night I’m actually not sure he’s up to the job so good luck.

Hi all, please feel free to copy and share: this low cost program is aimed especially at those who have recently lost positions due to the actions of D0GE or the wider effects of the +rump economy.

professional.dce.harvard.edu/programs/reb...

9 large gardening pots on an outdoor patio, with small herb plants in them

Tis the season(ings): kitchen garden is up! Parsley, mint, rosemary, thyme, basil, sage, Thai basil, tarragon, oregano. Bay laurel tree tucked up on the deck. Tomatoes and peppers in sunny driveway.

I am ordering extra stock of my makeup, lotions, and hair color. I'm too late on Maybelline apparently, but it looks like Cover Girl and L'Oreal have not jacked prices yet.

Makeup which cost $6.82 a few months ago now lists at $17.95. Remind me who was paying that $11.13 and where I send the bill.

Sadly, the whole just-in-time supply chain thing plus vastly improved estimates of demand mean I haven't seen significant amounts of half price chocolate after a holiday in years.

Boss: Good morning. How are you?
Me (perky): Oh, just directing my rage productively. You?
Boss: Same, same.

YouTube video by DJ Cummerbund DJ Cummerbund - DragulAPT.

This morning's jam is a beast

www.youtube.com/watch?v=McOt...

Those work at the Ruffrence desk

They work in the purriodicals department.

Pro tip for anyone who does not live alone: if you load the dishwasher wrong, you do not need to load the dishwasher.

-she who does not hand wash the dishes before loading the DISHWASHER

Well, I mean, is that incorrect or merely incomplete

Science: Behold, we have brought back a giant apex predator!
Half of humanity: Awesome. Can I eat it?
Other half of humanity: SNOOT BOOPZ!!!

*pinching bridge of nose* Whatever happened to murder hornets.

*deadpan* No please. How can it it be worse.

Universe: DIRE WOLVES! TA DAAAA!

Dill pickles only!

I was about 12 when I got the "what? are you pregnant?" response to this particular delight and stopped telling people about it. It's the world's loss.

I considered getting in touch with my feelings but they seem to have left me on read so