Bitch,

My favorite game to play every month is Real Or Luteal? Where I have to summon every power of reasoning to determine if I’m upset for a valid reason or if I’m just hormonal.
The problem is I’m upset about the SAME THING every month and I’m starting to suspect it’s real.

Actually so sick of waiting to be prioritized by a man

You ever wonder if you’ve been too self-deprecating and undermined a person’s ability to respect you with your own jokes?

Gotta go get a worm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If I can’t be loved like Shoresy loves Laura Mohr I don’t want it

Sometimes my job has me brainstorming ways to fabricate a horse-sized Corndog and I really can’t imagine being in any other line of work

(Ps if any of you freaks have thoughts or resources on this, I’m all ears)

Tf you mean I live in a patriarchy and have a male partner and I still have to take my own trash out

the calories from alcohol only count if you pay for the alcohol trust me I am scienc

I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country

I did my best on dry January. It was more of a humid January. Maybe a muggy January. There may have been some condensation.

My only conclusion is that alcohol in moderation is delicious and fine and there is such little joy in this world, just let the rat brain have what it wants.

ALCOHOL IS GOOD, ACTUALLY

Bro why does RFK jr look and sound like there’s a malfunctioning garbage disposal in his chest

For a person whose job depends heavily on scheduling and time management, I sure did show up to an interview an entire day late

I keep saying I want to quit drinking and I really, really do

But Things keep Happening and I am otherwise unmedicated and being alive can be really fucking hard

I will not be bullied by Spotify’s bunk ass data collection into using their service more

Spending today surrounded by beautiful handsome boys

Dear future Anna:
Present Anna has no fucking clue what she’s doing scheduling these meetings, she’s just getting things on the calendar. Pls do not interpret malintent from these actions

Hi friends, I’m detoxing from the former bird app so here’s my creatures snuggling: