Nicolio

Look, if you’ve already showered you smell clean enough. Don’t torture us all with 5 sprays of cologne. No one’s impressed.

Dear Amazon,
I’m not buying your product if you have spelling errors in the product description.

More People Are in Immigration Detention Than Ever Before Vera’s research reveals what ICE is not sharing with the public and the vast scale and human cost of Trump’s immigration agenda.

Thank you for your work, but this estimate of 170 seems absurdly low. How about 59,000? www.vera.org/news/more-pe....

Dear long term friends, you are only granted one name change per lifetime. My brain cannot switch identity twice. Sorry.

Yes, this once I violated my "no reading school emails on weekends" policy because I knew this one would be entertaining.

A sampling of websites teen son has visited or searched that the school tracking app thinks I want to know:
"nutsimulator"
"mayonaise 2011 remastered"
"riding my s1000rr onto a marine base"
"casino"

Do.Not.Care
Also re: casino, not worried. The kid has no money.

He hasn’t said it in years. I overheard someone say it and suddenly I was 7 again wondering what testicles looked like.

What were your parents favorite swear words when you were a kid? My Dad’s was “balls.”

Dear automated school emails, I will not read any homework update notices, websites activity notices or principal newsletters on the WEEKEND! The nerve!!

Walgreens is my 3rd space.

Just don’t tell the customs official you don’t like our pres or you could be blocked from traveling here for awhile. True story from Canadian friend.

I do believe satire is important, don’t get me wrong, but worry about the entertained to death cohort.

Sometimes I want to make political jokes, but they often give me an ick feeling—that such jokes cast what’s happening in the US as funny reality tv versus a very serious dismantling of democracy and human rights.

Sounds like we are related.

I’ve never been so excited to have a mood disorder.

Now I’m thirsty.

And in what universe is it cool to interview a 10 year old immediately following the most horrific event of his tender life?

Can’t wait to get to this episode.

And why young men are not getting women.

Or no need for an agreement here as we will be crossing the street to avoid you.

I get the makeup, wrinkle, and weight loss ads, designed to make women feel bad they aren't the buxom ladies in aforementioned man's IG feed.

Hubs gets buxom bikini clad women in his IG feed. I do not get shirtless fit men in mine. What am I doing wrong?

2nd day of school. Number of emails from school: 9
Number of school emails actually necessary: 1

16 yr old informed me jeans only need to be washed once every 3 weeks.

Wow. Yale, was it?

School for 13 yo starts tomorrow, therefore it’s NOT appropriate to get a teacher email today.

Our recycling truck guy broke our recycling bin lid off then recycled the bin lid by dumping it into his truck.

How can I meditate when I can’t even listen to an audiobook without falling asleep unless I’m also doing something else?

Started writing a cozy mystery but read a Louise Penny book and now mine seems like Scoobee Doo.

My husband thinks it’s 1889.