Julia WD Harrison

Big ups to people who figured out how to cook potatoes. If I had discovered potatoes, I’d have taken one bite of a raw potato and declared it inedible.

There are too many spiders in Los Angeles. Every time I see a spider in my house it’s a completely different type of spider than I have ever seen before. What are we doing guys? There should be no more than 12 types of spiders MAX

Why is it when a photo shoot from the evening comes out, the other person only likes the picture where they look good while I look like I recently learned what blinking is? Also, I’m using my new skill intermittently to keep people guessing.

It's impressive how lame Elon Musk is. He really thought he'd be celebrated streaming Path of Exile.

Take a bite outta crime; eat the rich.

do you think my dad, 1. did taebo in the dilbert mask, or 2. had the dilbert mask in his taebo room as an aspiration, like if he worked out hard enough he could flex his tie to curl upwards like his

Has anyone updated the drake meme with Kendrick? I need to let someone know my preference in meme format.

XSN: Headshot Show with Howard Kremer - YouTube Headshot Show was a live streaming show hosted by comedian Howard Kremer at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles. The show aired on XSN, an experimental shopping n...

Back in 2016/2017, there was a fun QVC/HSN style streaming “network” run out of Meltdown Comics named XSN. Most notable of their shows was Howard Kremer’s Headshot Show.

m.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

In much of the world, a sofa that has a pull-out bed is called a “sofa cum bed”. I guess their pull-out game is weak.

Hey, Nectarine, girl are you okay?

*I think you should leave with Tim Robinson voice* they said it's FINE! they're like, not real people. it doesn't matter, AT ALL

I can’t believe that the cool dude who does the music for @spoutlore.bsky.social is just as funny as his music is amazing!

Rewatching Shrek right now.

Just realized how much ‘Lord Farquad’ sounds like ‘Lord Fuckwad.’

Was that intentional or is it just me?

Personally, if I were named Nicholas Florko, I’d do anything in my power not to be a huge dorko, but what do I know?

Oh so female frogs fake their own deaths to avoid unwanted male attention but when I do it im a bitch felon

I love being reunited with all of my previously-lost hair ties and Bobby pins.

This message is brought to you by the concept of moving. Lost something? Try moving!

A few months ago, I was called for jury duty for a civil case between a tenant and a landlord. Shoutout to my fellow perspective juror who told the judge she couldn’t remain impartial because “I believe landlords are evil people.” 😍

Damn. I forgot I wanted to eat a cinnamon Oreo, but I already brushed my teeth.

Tomorrow, be mindful that some people may have traumatic memories resurfacing.

Ask before you put the parade on your TV.

Fashion is cyclical.

My favorite thing about following you on twitter and now here is…I always read your posts in your voice 🩷 you’re perfect. Never change

I make my own cards and my own rules. I have all the tools…so, I can make these things say whatever I want. I’ve become ungovernable.

Absolutely is!

I was a backer. She made her goal, and the book is stellar! Only saw this because I just joined and wanted to see if she was on here.

Hey, my children's book..
Pigs Can't Look Up.
Amazon and book stores everywhere.

YouTube video by 800 Pound Gorilla Media James Adomian | Path of Most Resistance (Full Comedy Special)

(Nothing to lose, no reason to hold back anymore.) My recent standup special “PATH OF MOST RESISTANCE” is really funny, with a low but completely organic human viewcount (none of the botnets, gamed algorithms, publicity machines, or other rightwing comedy advantages at play):

youtu.be/pJ5DFrdOyig

To keep up a personal trend, my first post on a new site is extremely boring.