Mr. Blue

Damn, I can’t believe the guy that said he had the Epstein files and also they didn’t exist, were a hoax, a plant, a fake, and a leak is in the files. I’m shocked I say, shocked!

"Here I come to save the day!"

Honestly, this is funnier than using the Price is Right horns.

Oh my god it was right after the chorus dropped too

"The day NYC elects a Muslim Mayor will be the day I die."

--Dick Cheney probably

Everyone else around Christmas: All I Want for Christmas is You
Me around Christmas: THE HESS TRUCK'S BACK AND IT'S BETTER THAN EVER

My sentiments exactly

Somebody send this to all the MAGA folk complaining about Bluey

Alright Mike, tell us where on the doll the Democrats touched you

If Kristi wasn’t already in power, she would be perfect for the clearance bin of Spirit Halloween

Hannibal Lecter (who hasn't died in his movie) = dead
Darth Vader (who died at the end of the original trilogy) = alive and a Trump supporter

George Soros gave me a rock.

George must have all the time in the world if he can sign 7 million checks

I'm just a 26 year old dissatisfied with our current government, who the fuck is George Soros

Wait until she hears Michael Jackson also performed songs denouncing racism and talking about making a change to yourself.

And now, Donald Trump sings The Beatles:

Well it is October so maybe he's just trying to ring in the fourth season?

Maybe it's just me but I'd rather have a "communist" as the mayor than someone on the Epstein list.

I never heard people there say America is a shithole country. I never heard people there talk about state officials like they're terrorists. I never heard people there going on random tangents about Hannibal Lecter.

I do know one person who does these at his rallies.

whenever i see “no kings” i hear it in the voice of Coily saying NOOOO SPRINGS from that mst3k short about how important springs are

Wait until they find out I go to the shitter during the anthem

Urban legend has it that if you look in the mirror and say Mike Johnson's name three times, nothing happens because he didn't hear it.

Okay, I'm having trouble believing this was from his actual account since he's actually concerned about something being shot.

And while we're on the topic of Traveling Wilburys, there's Roy Orbison.

Woops.

A guarantee that when he actually fights someone in Chicago, he'll go down like he's Glass Joe fighting E. Honda.

There’s no hate like Christian love

Their own leader has a history of reaching out to young people too, maybe we should be discussing that instead.

"Our kids are under attack"

Last time I checked, Netflix shows haven't shot up schools in the last 20 years.

I’ll say it again: Pete Hegseth looks like whatever Hoobastank means