Justina

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

Exactly three years ago, on the night of February 24, I came back home from a small family gathering that was overshadowed by the looming danger. I felt lost and scared. Walking in circles around the living room didn't help. I couldn't sleep that night. I just kept staring into a wall, still 1/6

One thing about me, I'm always thinking about my bed.

It's no surprise to me I'm am a sea anemone, cuz every now and then i sting the living shit out of me

I'm against the death penalty except for when I accidentally step on my pet's foot a little bit in which case I get the electric chair immediately

TO: <ALL STAFF>

Please respond to this email confirming that I am cool and funny. Failure to do so will be taken as confirmation of the same.

From a FOIA perspective, "the entire federal workforce should write down and email what they did last week" is extremely funny

wait this can't be right, we have two business geniuses at the helm

So.

It has officially happened. I have been officially let go from my position at CDC. I wasn’t a probationary employee. I had stellar performance reviews every year.

I’ll be ok. But please understand that many worked HARD to get into these positions and were doing great public health work.

Happy Person Must Either Be Stupid Or Evil

Happy Person Must Either Be Stupid Or Evil
theonion.com/happy-p...

It’s time for the Milk Hotel to choose a side

if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power

Lewis 😎🐎

I think most people are intuitively aware of this but something like the official White House account posting an “ASMR” video of shackled immigrants is not just cruel for its own sake, it’s intentional envelope-pushing to ramp up to desensitization over inhumane detention, camps, and deaths

Your first images of the SF-25 on track! 🔥

WE ARE 40K BSKY ❤️

First nuclear weapons management, now this. No one - Democrat or Republican - voted for this kind of incompetence.

Checking my bank account every day for a deposit from the government since I've been hearing about all the money they've been saving lately. Nothing yet but it's probably coming soon

History: “Eventually the incompetent fascists invariably lose power and then society recovers in a new and stronger way”

Me: “Oh, cool, so what has to happen for the spell to be broken??”

History: “mmmm…well, that part is less encouraging.”

Lewis Hamilton attends F1 75 Live at The O2 Arena 🤩 #F175LIVE #F1

Lewis Hamilton attends F1 75 Live at The O2 Arena 🤩 #F175LIVE #F1

Lewis attends F1 75 Live at The O2 Arena 🤩

#F175LIVE #F1

Arriving in style to the F1 launch 👌

Aura 😎

#F175LIVE #LewisHamilton

Iconic.

BREAKING: Indigenous activist Leonard Peltier released from prison after nearly 50 years

it’s been said a million times but it’s still astounding that google went from so reliable a company that its name replaced the word “search” to…..this

I mean I’m not going to be able to prevent the rise of an authoritarian dictatorship but I do feel like I’m helping being a silly guy online

i am 100% of the belief that simply forcing take-writers to answer the question "who specifically said this and why are they significant" would result in substantially fewer bad takes circulating in the world