Hawkgrrrl

It's impossible to know the right things to do, I swear

I want a new version of the Supernanny in which an amazing British caregiver oversees the elder care that is now a part of so many of our families, delivering hard truths to those of us in these situations. Every sibling has a different opinion how it should be done, and I would like a referee.

War Crimes Did the GOP learn the wrong lessons from the past?

It's hard to imagine the GOP learning worse lessons from the past than what we've seen. substack.com/home/post/p-...

Too far!

I've become one of these weirdos who likes pickle flavored snacks

The text inside is also AI generated and not quite right. Can't wait to see how it handles A Tale of Two Cities. "It was the best of times, but sometimes it was not the best of times." Or Pride & Prejudice: "It's a truth universally acknowledged that rich single men should marry poor women."

One of my kids is studying to become an English teacher so I got them an Advent calendar of mini books that are the classics of literature. Day one does not bode well: Wuthering Heights by...Zatho Baesor??

I came home once at 1:30 in the morning and my key wouldn't work so I had to wake my parents up to let me in. They didn't realize I wasn't home. They just shrugged and went back to bed as did I.

Stranger Things feels like the most Gen X show ever. I mean, back in the 80s they literally would come on the TV and say "It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your kids are?" And mostly people did not.

Pilot just said Gulf of America and I think it's too late to deplane. WTAF?!

Overheard at church: when God talks to you, it's like this little voice on your shoulder telling you "Don't get the Cheetos!"

Uhm, I think I need to know more about these Cheetos..

Overheard at church: God is always watching you. Like a hawk. And Jesus Christ is like a bald eagle or something

Just thinking about the last time I went with my mom to her church. As people entered the chapel she said loudly (due to hearing loss) "We have more than our share of cripples in this ward." Then she added as someone walked past. "Look! There goes another one!"

I've got one of those! Of course I personally put such a thin layer of peanut butter on the bread that it might as well be I Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter spray

It's time to play my favorite party game: find the most upsetting book in my 99 YO Dad's book shelves. Today's winner. It's possible that this was a gift from my tea party sister and he never read it but it's still gross. On the upside he's reading Hidden Figures and worked at NASA in the 60s so..

The peanut butter is so hard it just kills the bread but maybe with the bread also being cold it holds up better?

I left it out to warm, and I felt like I may have broken a protocol or something

Things my dad refrigerates that I would never: syrup, peanut butter, bread.

It's hard to believe I grew up in the same house.

Why does that sound sarcastic?

Woo! A bright spot in today's 4 hour layover in Vegas

Adventures in AI customer service.

AI: Will the home be furnished or vacant?
Customer: Vacant.
...

Customer: Hello? ... Hello?
...

AI Summary: The customer said "bacon" then ended the call

As you should be

Schumer didn't vote for it, but if he can't hold a coalition together, what good is he?

And don't get me started on Federman

These fuckin guys. Honestly, WTF is wrong with them? Schumer must go.

Daughter: I had some weird reaction to my new makeup yesterday
Me: So you're the animal being tested

Capitalism lets the corporations take your input and data and turn it into AI that then takes your job. People should be compensated for the use of our data! Cut work hours and give everyone UBI to make up the difference. I'm all for AI, but fair is fair.

Me, every Halloween growing up: We didn't really get any trick or treaters last night.
My friends: Which house is yours?
Me: You go past the cemetery at the end of town, about a quarter mile up the lane, then we live at the top of that hill...

Oh well, more Good and Plenty and Almond Joy for us!

My low-key Halloween decor

Yes that's right!