𓅷scobe𓅷

fascists only speak one language. and that's portuguese, which i refuse to learn

people hate to hear certain truths because they replace the Urgency Of The Moment with this: you spent years ignoring suffering until someone on your phone gave you permission to start caring

Love seeing a trans woman where I can tell that at like 21 she made a decision even if that decision was becoming the Riddler with a fat ass

i fucked a chic fil a sandwich to completion

removing all the shit in one wipe with perfect form

i could write anything. any story could escape these fingers.
-dean koontz

cardassian fleshlight lawsuit

nyt is staffed exclusively by people who say “ah, yes” at the beginning of every sentence

censured by city hall for doing gay poppers with cesar milan, the dog whisperer

i had to divorce my own brother when i learned he had been fellated by cesar milan, the dog whisperer

Hello,
I don’t mean to correct you, but the average hourglass isn’t sand-based, perse. Around 1850 hourglass makers started using a concrete gravel-mix.
Thanks!

sometimes i think about jon hamm for armitage cus he’s described as generically hollywood handsome

if i heard a dog talking in rfk jr's voice i'd think, Well obviously that's pretty amazing but it's not like, earth shattering

i’ve had people talk about shit on this website that i’ve been thinking about. once, i put one word in the search bar and the first result was a person i knew in person

eat a load of bricks you fucking bedbag. corncooker

homer pimpson

it was mostly a bad dream

i had a dream the other night about that bingis fella from rawdog

i made a new alarm clock and it simulates shrek busting a surprise nut in your face

im told shrek will soon be “allergic to cum”

shrek is problematic

do ur worst jake manager

my youth pastor says im unclockable

from r/meth

selling all my blood for a bootleg dvd of the jerma groping stream

I have a headache (sexual)

probably better just to use a sock full of Sacagawea coins

Happy pride!

Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:

☆ lithoromantic aromantic people
☆ Chicano xenogender people living in diaspora
☆ cishet agender nonces
☆ aroace multisexual people
☆ Hispanic gender fluid neckbeards
☆ Latinx nonbinary demigirl slumlords

YES Hillary Clinton was humping a catgirl. But that doesn’t mean you have to be mean.