islandwind

Welp, four years to practice being a forest witch. So long, suckers

We lost a sous chef last year just a few clicks from here. [michael pointing to a row of restaurants] We’re dining outside in Bilbao. Suddenly he says, what do you know about Alsace?

I come home, I turn the lights on in the hallway. Michael Kelly is sitting by the dining table. He’s here to recruit me to the Culinary Institute of America. I understand it’s serious this time. We’re on a jet reading cook books. He whispers, clandestine cooking. Yum, Sir.

Today I am 6381 days drug free (including alcohol) To anyone struggling with addiction I want you to know that help is out there. Recovery is possible, and life on the other side of addiction is beautiful and fulfilling. It may seem daunting, but take that first step. Reach out for help ❤️

This thanksgiving remember the cranberry sauce, but forget the marijuana. Terry was convinced to take a “toke” of a joint with his friend “just to relax” immediately after, Terry killed his friend who had given him the marijuana in a murderous craze. Not so safe, is it? Marijuana, not even once.

Remember kids:

Wearing Woolf Merino under the covers feeling as toasty and stylish as Gary the security guard from Cliffside Asylum. 🐺

I would go for a pint with you in any lifetime ✨

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.

i’ve got an idea

Kill two birds with one stone, get two life sentences. In bird court. Where birds get justice

Alice never had to play 3 rabbit Monty

Two airplanes on a tarmac face each other, noses open, creating the illusion of them talking and laughing.

“So he tells me he’s been grounded, and I says to him… I says Hank, it’s probably because of your bad altitude!”

A friend sold his house because a neighbor kept saying moronic things about cooking across their fence in the summer.
Takes too long waiting for neighbors to move or die first.

Thunder Bear ⚽️

Moon

Check out my list on Amazon

I am creating a wishlist for books to give to the kids in my class for Christmas this year. Many of them don't have a book of their own & I'm wanting to get books to give them as presents for them to keep. If you'd like to help, the list is here:
www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Bluesky starter tip: Put the Bluesky app in the spot on your phone where Twitter is. Now your crippling need for social media and muscle memory work in tandem with addiction to bring you here first.

Nearly got hit by a car trying to work out if Orlando Bloom is the new face of Staropramen (turns out he is)

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Don’t be so goddamned young and vulnerable,” he said.

It's hard to bro out with the guys with no gifs here.

Hei. ☀️

We’re on the verge of someone posting ice cubes in drinks and calling it a cooling hack or something.

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Reassigns His Bad Boy Publishing Rights Back to Artists, Songwriters Sean “Diddy” Combs has reassigned his publishing rights back to artists and songwriters who helped build the label he founded, Bad Boy Entertainment.

Diddy has reassigned his publishing rights back to all the artists and songwriters who helped build Bad Boy Entertainment

Ma$e, Faith Evans, The LOX, 112 and the Estate of the Notorious B.I.G. have already signed agreements to regain those rights

The Return of Stop-and-Frisk And how it shows we must defund the police

Same police force that blows through overtime budgets by hundreds of millions, said bbqs are illegal this summer, attacks people in parks, and has illegally brought back stop-and-frisk in a big way.

It’s time to defund them. My latest 👇🏻

New York police will use drones to monitor backyard parties this weekend, spurring privacy concerns | AP News

Are you fucking kidding me

apnews.com/article/dron...

Having witnessed too many comments to random posts today I think I need a vacation for a few months to get this out of my system.

Drug addicts who basically put every absurd thing in their body, but draw the line at some artificial sweetener or food coloring have a great sense of humor.

The shrimp editing with Bubba in Forrest Gump makes me happy.