acabylon bee

anyone else notice how since mamdani became mayor people stopped picking up dog poop? almost like the criminals know they have an ally in gracie mansion...

id be all like "i started feeling depressed but then i reasoned with facts and logic to not do that and now im fine" and not like "each day i wake yearning for the sweet release of death"

if i did this bit about not going to therapy i would never let my haters catch me mentally ill

biden was better than trump and yet his presidency was an unmitigated disaster

how did i not know he was an "akshually it's ephebophilia" "intellectual"

i wouldn't worry about this too much yet, jeb was polling at similar levels before the 2016 primaries started

this rule would mean dems could appoint a leftist

wedding planning going well i see

when you make a fake thing, you have to thread that needle of informed people having an indicator or two to pick up on while the post-truth hogs just swallow it whole like the mental swine they are

aroldis chapman not british

just posting this to ensure i have access to it later, kindly disregard

ACAB includes safety team (mods)

"rich dipshit owner doesn't understand the industry he's bought into and clumsily destroys what made it good" feels less like a narrative unique to the washington post and more like the music that's been playing in the background of all our lives for at least 40 years

i honestly respect the fetterman thing more. this is somehow worse than wearing a sweatshirt

if you're a rich guy your fit cannot be this trash

if jeff bozo a thing? #jeffbozo #yeahiwentthere #jeffbezosisjeffbozonow

this graphic is hilarious

She was right about everything

An interesting experiment you can try is to ask mark cuban if he would rather do away with communists or billionaire pedophiles

this should be the plot of melania 2. and then while he's there brett ratner can testify too

vote blue NO MATTER WHO

[upbeat zohran voice] I'm here at the Palace of Justice in Nuremberg, Germany, where 80 years ago some important progressive work started [smash cut] but hasn't ended. So here's what we're doing:

WHY DIDN'T POD SAVE AMERICA A CONVERSATION WITH JON FAVREAU

Just remembered the funniest screenshot I have saved

yeah ill take any chance to slam a woman who slutshamed and attacked her husbands accusers and tried to move him into the white house 👍

i really like transatlanticism but it's extremely depressing for your mom's favorite song to be from that album lol

not hillary tho

don't forget to mute stencil and pencil too

im wrong. the democrats are effective actually. thank you