Ben Hebert

I think I speak for the cheese counter dude when I say we would much rather have a nice long cheese chat with a curious customer than get back to whatever dumb work task we’re supposed to be doing.

Honestly, it’s probably just a matter of freshness. A soft cheese made in France will usually taste better in France because it didn’t have to cross the ocean.

Sabrina, a very small calico cat in a cardboard box.

Lala, a very sleepy calico.

Blaine, a tabby that multiple people have called the largest cat they’ve ever seen.

I am a cheesemonger who has been on Jeopardy! but I have don’t have a cat I have THREE CATS

Every day I clock in and pray that someone will want to learn about Mimolette.

My Bluesky account is about to get a lot more cheese-centric

FUN FACT: The holes in Swiss cheese (among others) are called eyes.

Seems like it’s time for a pivot

This was previously a strictly cats account but it may have to become a cheese account as well

Darth I am that cheesemonger and we love it when this happens because we spend a lot of time learning cheese information that no one ever asks about but we want to share it with you all the same.

It almost feels deliberate. Like some low-level officer who doesn’t like the order was tasked with choosing the guardsmen that would get sent so he picked the ones that look least like the Hegseth Ubermensch standard.

“We have big stars like a guy who got cut by the Browns last year and a guy who will get signed by the Browns next year.”

He rushes in towards the center, realizes no one is blocking him, and just then sort of hangs out at the two yard line until it’s too late to be of use

The ol stumbleruski strikes again

Jinx

JUST LIKE COACH DREW IT UP

“You’re all fat, the president is popular among firefighters, and the military you’ve spent your entire lives building sucked until I showed up. Now get out there and commit some war crimes.”

I was recently watching some John Oliver from 2016 and he is a different person. His face and hair look the same thanks to all the bronzer but the presidential aging is hitting pretty hard everywhere else.

Thank your for the pep talk and I’m pleased to share that the cheese with the coolest name is really good. It’s called The Rattlesnake and it lives up to it.

Seattle is the only non-Astros team that could win the division and I still feel happy for. I blame Jon Bois.

He submitted his resignation in February. The Charlie Kirk stuff is completely irrelevant. This article isn’t totally on the up and up.

I think it’s a consequence of Republicans crying wolf for like 20 years. They said Obama was going to run for a third term even though he was clearly over politics. It wasn’t true then so they can shrug it off as “both sides” when Dems try to talk Trump 2028 hats being worn in the Oval Office.

Do you think Trump won in 2016 because Republicans won over Obama voters with grace and empathy?

You can do it, Habuchi!

I never thought about the profound sadness of that defense. “Nice try libs but my dad would never put that much effort into a birthday card” tells you a lot about Junior’s childhood.

The cheese probably needs a pep talk more than I do, tbh.

I’m a cheesemonger. We just got in a seasonal pumpkin spice cheese that everyone rolls their eyes at because they see pumpkin spice and I have to explain there’s no pumpkin, it’s a good cheese rubbed in cinnamon and nutmeg because if I don’t stand up for this cheese, no one will.

Every year, I sympathize a little more with the Luddites.

One time a I saw a UPS “Sorry We Missed You” sticker on the door of a psychic’s storefront. Pretty damning review.