𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧

Me: How long does it take to microwave a 25lb turkey? Mom: In your case it took 9 months.

🤨

Gumby attempts to “sexy up” Thanksgiving preparation by wearing only an apron.

My oven is broken

(Yes, it really is)

Hit Repeat On Arlo

a cartoon of charlie brown is smiling and holding a piece of paper . ALT: a cartoon of charlie brown is smiling and holding a piece of paper .

You should see my shopping list.

Release The Epstein Files

MEDUSA FREQUENCY: Rare NO, APPEARING: 1-3 ARMOR CLASS: 5 MOVE: 9" HIT DICE: 6 % IN LAIR: 50% TREASURE TYPE: P, Q (X 10), X, Y NO. OF ATTACKS: 1 DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4 SPECIAL ATTACKS: Gaze turns to stone + poison SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard INTELLIGENCE: Very ALIGNMENT: Lawful evil SIZE: M PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil Attack/Defense Modes: Nil Medusae are hateful humanoid creatures which dwell in dark caves or caverns, venturing forth on occasion to seek prey. They try to beguile humans to look into their eyes. The gaze of a medusa's eyes will turn creatures within 3" to stone unless they make their saving throw versus petrifaction. If an opponent averts his eyes, the medusa rushes up so that its asp-like head growth can bite at the victim. The range of such attacks is but I', and the victim bitten must save versus poison or die. If the medusa's gaze is reflected back, the creature will turn itself to stonel Meduse speak both their tongue and the common one. Medusae are able to see astral and ethereal creatures, and their petrifying gaze is as effective on those planes as it is on the material. Description: The body of a medusa appears quite shapely and human. They typically wear human clothing. However, the face is of horrid visage, and its snakey hair writhes, so at a close distance (20) this gives the creature away. The glaring red-rimmed eyes of a medusa are visible clearly o30.

Keep this info handy! #StrangerThings #StrangerThings5

Stranger Things 5 COUNTDOWN To Vol 1 YouTube video by Stranger Things

☢️ The Countdown’s On! ☢️

a woman with blonde hair is wearing a black dress with black wings Alt: a woman with blonde hair is wearing a black dress with black wings

Did we pass?

Ruin Thanksgiving in Four Words: ______ ______ ______ ______

I’d rather eat shit!

GET DOWN AND GET WITH IT COZ I LUV YOU LOOK WOT YOU DUN TAKE ME BAK 'OME MAMA WEER ALL CRAZEE NOW GUDBUY T'JANE CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE SKWEEZE ME, PLEEZE ME - MY FRIEND STAN EVERYDAY THE BANGIN' MAN FAR FAR AWAY HOW DOES IT FEEL THANKS FOR THE MEMORY IN FOR A PENNY LET'S CALL IT QUITS WE'LL BRING THE HOUSE DOWN LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS MY OH MY RUN RUNAWAY ALL JOIN HANDS MYZSTERIOUS MIZSTER JONES RADIO WALL OF SOUND MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY

I lernd too spel frum dez guise.

Or am I crazee?

You misspelled “girlz” and “boyz”.

e e cum on now

I recommend to most people that they should create an outgoing voicemail message that says, “If you need to reach me, send me a text like a normal person.” 😅

"Two guts and four moobs ago..."
- Abraham Lincoln

YouTube video by Kalyn Rain Laugh It Off - Kalyn Rain (official shitty music video)

#NewMusic

YouTube video by Why the Book Wins *book vs movie* Wicked Part 2 is even better than I first thought

After seeing #WickedForGood three times, I have too many thoughts (most of them positive) to share here. I'll let this witch/young lady share her spoiler-y thoughts that I share. 🧹

Pepper man, pepper.

Not since Richard Kiel left, anyway.

We wish!

All in?

An app library social media folder that just contains phone, text, and Bluesky.

All the “social media” you’ll ever need. #KeepItSimple