Robert - DL3RR

However, concentrate on yourself - don't blame yourself but don't rush things - take time to reflect on what you would do differently next time.

There's no quick fix unfortunately, but in the words of Sheryl Crow "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got".

Things won't make sense to you, because they won't make sense to her (not completely anyway). You can't live with someone for 20 years, walk away and be completely unaffected.

That's pretty large for a solid state meter! My Heathkit VVM is less than half the size of that.

Not to second guess anybody, but that could be a defense mechanism - if she was really that unhappy, she would probably have left earlier.

Everybody changes thoroughout life, we are all the product of our experiences - sometimes you change together, sometimes you change apart.

Good advice! Keep it amicable if at all possible - a marriage takes two and it is what it is. There's nothing to be gained by getting nasty.

At the end of the day, from your point of view, it doesn't matter.

Whatever the circumstances, a marriage needs two and if one decides to move on, there's little the other can do. (Sounds brutal, but it is how it is!)

Concentrate on yourself, and hang in there James! Things will get better.

19 years is an incredibly long time. FWIW, this won't have left her untouched either. You are both travelling a long road - She just started the journey before you did.

I know it sounds glib, but give it time, and you will come to Terms with the upheaval and the changes in your life.

To be expected - that's a big step, with a certain finality to it.

Concerning your feelings, I don't know how long you were married but compared to that, I'm willing to bet that three months is nothing!

Of course, It may be necessary to file some of those feelings away for later (sounds better than burying!) in order to function.

This is based upon personal experience, I'm not a counsellor!

That's all you can do at the moment. Take one MINUTE at a time if you need to. It's a bit like a roller coaster (I think I already said that in my last comment) - You're going up and down like crazy at the moment, but it will slow down with time and allow you to explore your feelings.

However, part of the process of coming to terms with grief is understanding how you feel about it (which you can't do if you bury what you are feeling).

That is a process which takes time.

I'm probably not explaining it too well either to be honest. Grief affects everyone differently!

It is good advice - but at this stage in the process you probably won't understand why.

It's about allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling and not trying to bury those feelings (which is tempting and understandable because nobody wants to feel like that)

Oh - I've seen a few produce some pretty noxious smoke!

Oh - I've seen a few produce some pretty noxious smoke!

However, VMS had file versioning, so you could go back to the previous version of the file!

At least it failed relatively gently!

I've refrained from commenting before now, but you're in my thoughts. Everyone's situation is different, but from what you've written, yours is quite similar to where I was about 18 years ago.

Emotionally the whole situation was a bit like a roller coaster - emotions were up and down with frightening speed, but in time it slowed down. You will move on, but it will take time. Don't make any hasty decisions - this is not the time to make life changing decisions!

I took the advice of a friend, and took up something to take my mind off things. In my case it was cycling. My friend also advised not rushing into another relationship (which looking back was excellent advice).

I despair!

I just can't fathom it - Who on earth would decide that a bin is a sensible place to leave a parcel?

Looks like Leberkäse - which has neither liver nor cheese in it!

You're a braver man than me - Did that one night after a Heathrow pickup and ended up sitting in a traffic jam at the Angel at one in the morning!

To be fair, on almost all the times I have visited, we had good weather!

In Scotland?

Or snow coming!

Skyhooks... 😬

What is claimed to be a "clean, electrically correct schematic-style of the finished antenna, based on everything we've discussed". I don't even know where to begin describing the diagram!

Just for fun, I thought I would use AI to design an antenna - Oh dear...

Wooo-Oooooh!

Considering that most of my activity is on FT8 and WSPR, I am sure there would be much clutching of pearls and gnashing of teeth!