MLMKUltra

Your Honor, my client did say 'Fuck The Police' but he did so sensually

"ross perot but aggressively dumber" does somehow feel like it was an inevitable part of how this decade would unfold

Women: We’d still choose the bear.

Few things have ever pissed me off more than a bitch wearing a white bra under a white shirt telling me my bra straps were showing.

This is me when I don’t grab a cart or basket at the store to limit my impulse purchases, but then see some CHOICE peaches.

Poll: Did your Barbies fuck? That I’m asking should tell you whether or not mine did.

How is he behind me? I might not mind.

I don’t think anyone is prepared for what they just did w/ ICE.

This is not a simple budget increase. It is an explosion - making ICE bigger than the FBI, US Bureau of Prisons, DEA,& others combined.

It is setting up to make what’s happening now look like child’s play. And people are disappearing.

They should have just said they want thousands of prank calls about anal probes.

Me to my friend’s cat: lol. it’s almost like you like the box better than the toy! haha! that is so funny. what the heck.

Cat: If you loved a joke as much as the laugh, the sun as much as its warmth, your lover as much as their love, you too would love the box as much as the toy, two-legs.

Or the scenes where Gatsby broods over Daisy being with Tom, when all he longs for is to hire a harem of men with whom he can coerce her into having sex.

FROST: "They say they're pro-life because they want the baby to be born, go to school and get shot in the school. Die in the school, die on the streets."

FOXX: "You are not going to come into this room and impugn our integrity!"

BREAKING: Jury has reached a verdict on Sean Combs, so we'll soon know if he's presidential material.

And everyone at the airline and in first class wants to show how they want to make the plane crash *~the most~*.

they're tearing down the guardrails and dismantling the entire country for trump, who is mostly just stupid. it's like if a guy from first class ended up getting to fly the plane and instead of turning on autopilot everyone at the airline just changed all the buttons in the cockpit to "crash plane"

You’re great. 💗

Going to college is probably already a strike against you.

"This app sucks and will never make it because I posted something to purposely inflame people and everyone told me I'm an asshole."

I think you are talking about different things. If you think of racism as a prejudice backed by power, in the US, Black people cannot be racist. They don’t have a political system that targets communities they dislike. White people do. Black people can have prejudices which, yes, anyone can have.

In the 90s, we had no use for “/sarcasm” because we had “…NOT!” For those of us who remember, it is a sacred duty to reintroduce the old ways. For the youth, this is how it’s done: “I love 80% humidity…NOT!”

Billionaires just aren't on the Polite Society list of people you can advocate for banishment.

“Jesus . . . loved us all” in front of my nieces and nephews. I grew up woke-Methodist but fell in love with the rogue in a Catholic family.

OK BUT in earnest, one of my most sanctimonious relatives shared a pic of Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan with text like, “No one is brave enough to share this and say they love Jesus.” I reflect on it in dark times when I need a little smile.

Jane Lynch in Glee with the words, “a I am going to create false equivalence that is so fucking stupid”

If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh.

A grim reaper knocking on a third door of a hallway that says “Dem establishment” while the leaving behind a pool of blood outside doors that say “chain restaurants” and “department stores”

New “millennials killed the ___” just dropped

Many of the worst people on Earth will have a lot of trouble sleeping tonight because of Mamdani's win.

I would 💯 donate to a Brad Lander for US Senate campaign to primary Chuck Schumer.

It's time to pay fealty

I’m just reposting every “good fucking riddance” I see.