A Very Lazy Man

You realize that "a guaranteed vote" on extending ACA credits sometime in December is basically like guaranteeing a flaming bag of dog crap, right? Enjoy your primary and retirement, I only wish you would actually suffer instead of just becoming a lobbyist. Useless coward.

The problem is that I'm not sure ANY of them are equal to this moment other than the 84 year old non-democrat from Vermont that caucuses with them. Bunch of wimps with no spines.

Kash Patel is so uniquely incompetent that I am forced to admit "hey maybe we need someone a little more capable and qualified as head pig," truly a stunning accomplishment

Very healthy that my first reaction to a new day is "what fresh hell is in my outlook inbox"

Burritos are the ultimate culinary vehicles for sin. Everything that you put in that tortilla exists outside of God's sight, and by extension outside his judgment. If you DON'T sin while eating a burrito, you've fucked up.

The app I have on my phone that tracks my daily steps has started giving me encouragement every evening, like "hey man how about a nice stroll to hit your daily goal" and it's like, "not now buddy, I am very depressed and also the weather is disgusting"

Judging from the past couple weeks, way more elected Dems & their leash holders are worried about someone who will try to improve his constituents lives- thus saddling them with similar expectations- than they are with the opposition kicking 10+ million off Medicaid and building concentration camps

Exciting development

"When theory meets practice"

...surely there's someone more qualified to run New York City than the disgraced sexual harassing grandma killer. Isn't there???

When properly assessing any new video game release, you really only have to answer one question: "Does this game fuck?"

I am here to tell you that Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 does, in fact, fuck.

#clairobscur

We love to see a homie succeeding after putting in the work 🙌💪🙌

I have jury duty today, hopefully I get to sentence a billionaire to be thrown into the sea or whatever, idk how this works

Really feels like the dem shitlibs are at a crossroads where they can either run on "billionaires bad" or "omg look at what orange man is doing, we are not orange man" and one of those will build a big coalition and one will give short term gains and we all know they're going to pick billionaires

a man wearing a leather jacket and a gold necklace is looking to his left . ALT: a man wearing a leather jacket and a gold necklace is looking to his left .

Can't have your retirement savings liquidated due to being attached to the stock market if you've never bothered with a 401k (my actual apologies to those impacted by this)

Hot take of the day is that a non-zero number of people posting AI "artwork" have (not so?) secret humiliation kinks and they're getting off on being dragged on various social media platforms

I mean I'ma keep dragging them, but still.

"Using water wasting generative AI to buttfuck the planet to death by making shitty memes" is such a dumb, grim way for our species to go out even I wouldn't have suggested it, and I think we should all stop reproducing immediately

I am tired of this earth, these people

(tbh I should know better... AND YET)

New idea: all candidates for public office must demonstrate the ability to attach a file to an email in outlook

Tbh the most surprising thing about former Israeli prison guard Jeffrey Goldberg accidentally being included in a totally top secret signal chat about bombing Israel's enemies is that he reported it at all

Oh no! Feeling any better now?

The thing that Tim Walz understands that so many democrats don't is: you gotta have an enemy, and you shouldn't respect them. You're not operating under Roberts Rules of Order, you're on playground rules- make fun of em and don't be fair about it.

You are less than useless and should retire so that someone who is capable of leading can attempt to do the job you asked to do.

Retire immediately.

As he's your elected representative, I sincerely hope you remember this during 2028 primary season and act accordingly. Find someone better suited to the office, and loudly endorse them on a personal level.

And this is why, despite all the blustering from people like Chris Murphy, 90% of elected democrats are useless.

They re-elected useless bump on a log Chuck Schumer as their leader. No one stood against him.

If you won't lead, follow, or get out of the way there's one last option: get primaried.

It's not just that he's not a wartime consigliere.

He's not even a wartime foot soldier.

Retire, you useless dork.

a cartoon of a gorilla with the words harambe never forget ALT: a cartoon of a gorilla with the words harambe never forget

Either this or David Bowie dying

There's obviously more important things going on (disappearing green card holders w no charges) but let's take a moment to acknowledge the grift on display today as the HHS secretary did an "interview" during an ad for Steak & Shake and the Pres desperately tried to salvage his boss's car business

The streets are saying Bong Joon-ho and Robert Pattinson have once again (unsurprisingly) cooked with Mickey 17

(Seriously tho Joon-ho's filmography is increasingly unmatched)

(Lil Bobby is good too)

The first day of daylight savings being overcast and rainy so that no one can "enjoy more sunlight" or whatever BS reason you people have for angering the gods by fucking with time is remarkably on brand for 2025