Are you available for any future holidays that I book? All expenses paid? How can you say no to that!? 😁

Why has an abomination like this been able to last 14 years, but dinnerladies only lasted 2? 😠

winnie the pooh is sitting at a table with a towel around his neck and a bowl of water . ALT: winnie the pooh is sitting at a table with a towel around his neck and a bowl of water .

An egg and cress sandwich sounds lovely to me. I'd also quite happily demolish an egg custard tart, too!

We're are country of pigeons and seagulls! These foreign birds, coming over here on boats, taking our jobs and claiming benefits! We're overcrowded as it is! We don't need anyone else coming over here.
...
...
That's exactly how stupid the far right sound to me.

Actual actual Russell Tovey? Or someone that looks like him? I would be so flustered that I wouldn't be able to speak, type or function in any capacity.

I know!! I don't even know where to begin on spending my winnings!... it won't even pay for a coffee or a journey on the London Underground 🤣

What was the cause for her argument? His dance moves or the fact people were enjoying themselves at a club?

How it started vs how it's going.
My disappointment not to be a multi millionaire after receiving that email is fairly high.
Thanks National Lottery 😒

After finding my receipt and discovering that it was in fact nearly 6 weeks ago and not 2 is concerning.

Also discovering the £150 shop was with £45 worth of savings is also a bit alarming 😱

You walked out of a shop empty handed? What is this dark magic you speak of?
I can't walk into a supermarket without at least spending £20. Two weeks ago, I had 'Bread, Milk and Bacon' on my shopping list and ended up spending £150 😳😳😳

You and me both! 🙃😓

We'll need the after pic once it's been cut, otherwise the powers won't get restored. 😉

Happy Birthday! 🥳🎉

Ouch, that looks like a painful bruise on the thigh?

a cat is sleeping next to a kitten on a bed . ALT: a cat is sleeping next to a kitten on a bed .

Ah, that makes more sense. Perhaps I shouldn't try and understand BlueSky when I first wake up. Tired doesn't even begin to cover my state of being this morning.

S&M biscuits? What on earth are you eating? Are these only in specialist sex shops? I'm so confused! 😖😭

I thought my iPhone with EE is bad. At home, I get no signal bars and don't get 4G or 5G, only 'E'. I am entirely reliant on WiFi calling or FaceTime calls.

Nothing wrong with paying full price for Tunnocks!
That's probably the one thing I actually thing that is worth the price in the supermarkets these days. Bars of chocolate are horrifically expensive.

What number did you use on hair clippers for the shave? Is that as short as a 1, or a 2?

That. Looks. Amazing.
Is there room for a third? 👀😋

You have green pecs? 😯

With that cap on, you look like you've walked out of my Triga fantasy! 😍

a woman is holding a cell phone in front of a red and pink background that says reported . ALT: a woman is holding a cell phone in front of a red and pink background that says reported .

Sorry to tell you both, but you are now..........:

I hope they can replace a homophobic bladder.
Sadly, mine has come from one of Nick Griffin's lot. 😒

This is not the first time I've seen your body clock decide this. It's a rather homophobic body clock if you ask me... Not sure how you go about replacing it though.

Fighting the urge to say...
Nothing beats a Jet2 Holiday! 🤣🏖️

My bet is Alan Carr when he did Chatty Man.

There are so many, I don't even know who to think...

That looks delicious 😍

Happy Birthday! 🥳🎉
Hope you have a good one.