I am Jack's Cellphone

This image features a Bloody Mary cocktail, a popular brunch beverage traditionally made with vodka, tomato juice, and various spices, this one made with Ketchup. The cocktail is prepared with Tito's Handmade Vodka. Commonly added ingredients include tomato juice, often mixed with condiments like Heinz ketchup or horseradish to achieve the savory flavor. The drink is typically served with a celery stalk garnish and a salted rim.

Having taken our kids to one of these establishments (drinking + waterslides = ???), I can confidently say that at a minimum their Bloody Marys are made with ketchup 👍

This image shows a crowd of people at an outdoor social event, featuring a man in a red graphic t-shirt in the foreground. The man is wearing a red crewneck t-shirt with a white graphic depicting the United States map and text reading "BACK-TO-BACK WORLD WAR CHAMPS". The event appears to be a casual summer gathering or festival, possibly taking place in an open-air venue. Other attendees are visible in the background, socializing and engaging in activities. The photo was captured with a Canon EOS REBEL T3i camera in July 2013.

Loved it when my wife & I went to a Ke$ha concert at Wolf Trap(!) in 2013 & we wound up partying with some folks wearing "USA: Back-To-Back World War Champs" shirts & the CEO of a prominent IT company based in Tysons Corner (now crypto leveraged to the moon) whom I ran into at the Fireball Shot Bar👍

This text is a social media post from Christina Pushaw regarding her former association with James Fishback, a candidate for the 2026 Florida gubernatorial election. Pushaw states she advised Fishback's campaign but was never employed or compensated by him. She cut ties with Fishback after learning he allegedly lied about her and faced allegations regarding inappropriate behavior with minors. Pushaw emphasizes there was no romantic or sexual relationship between them

P(u)shaw! 👍

A bag of Frito's Spicy Jalapeno flavored corn chips (orange with green & red accents) next to a bowl with Hard Times brand Cincinnati Chili spice mix in preparation for a long day of simmering

You are correct. The jalapeno flavor (when you can locate it) is a staple with any chili-based meal 👍

The image displays a variety pack of Wicked Grove Hard Cider, which is a fruity, bubbly cider priced at $12.99; my left hand extending the Middle Finger of Endearment at the bottom left corner. This Brunch Pack contains 12 cans featuring four different flavor styles: Pearsecco, Paloma, Mimosa, and Bellini. It is described as a bubbly cider inspired by fresh and fruity cocktails. The product is naturally gluten-free. The package includes 3 cans of each cider style.

Very nice! I had not seen that Truly variety before, interesting. I am a basic bitch, so I usually go with the dollar-store-esque close-enough versions from Aldi, etc.👍

The image displays bottles of Clap Back flavored wine cocktails (orange, blue, & red), which are colorful, high-ABV beverages. Brand & Types: Features flavors like "Slept on Strawberry," "Pushin' Peach," and "Blue Rizzler". Alcohol Content: High alcohol content of 18% ABV. Size: Available in 375ml cans or 1L bottles. Pricing: Listed price of $12.99 per bottle.

Choices, choices... 👍

This image shows a BuzzBallz Biggies Chili Mango (yellow with red text), a large, ready-to-drink cocktail sold in a spherical container held in my left hand. Flavor Profile: A blend of tropical mango with a bold chili spice kick. Alcohol Content: 15% ABV (30-Proof). Size: Available in a large 1.5-Liter or 1.75-Liter party size. Ingredients: Made with agave wine, natural flavors, and certified colors. Best Served: Chilled.

It most definitely is not cabined to one socioeconomic group 👍

An underrated movie (as are all of the Craig R. Baxley films of that era) 👍

A page from the Dan Simmons novel "The Rise of Endymion" featuring some unsavory internal dialog from the titular male character toward the decidedly underage female main character with text as follows: THE RISE OF ENDYMION 75 g ne flowed out of the darkness and back into darkness with the speed of a maglev train. "April," I said. "Early May. I don't know." The hooded figure before me nodded. "And what did Mr. Wright wear that night?" I had never had the impulse to hit or spank or scream at Aenea. Not until this minute. "How should I know? Why should I remember that?" "Try to." I let out my breath and looked away at the dark hills in the black night. "Shit, I don't know his gray wool suit. Yeah, I remember him standing by the piano in it. That gray suit with the big buttons." Aenea nodded again. "Bets's birthday party was in mid-March," she said over the patter of rain on our hoods. "Mr. Wright didn't come because he had a cold." "So?" I said, knowing very well what point she had just made. "So I remember bits of the future," she said again, her voice sounding close to tears. "I'm afraid to trust those memories. If I say when we will see each other again, it may be like Mr. Wright's gray suit." For a long minute I said nothing. Rain pounded like tiny fists on closed coffins. Finally I said, "Yeah." Aenea took two steps and put her arms around me. Our ponchos crinkled against each other. I could feel the tightness of her back and the new softness of her chest as we hugged clumsily

Slooooow down... 👍

This image shows United States Senator and current Secretary of State Marco Rubio sitting in a giant rocking chair at a shop in New Hampshire during his 2016 presidential campaign. The photo was taken in March 2016 while Rubio was campaigning. It became a widely shared image during the 2016 election cycle. Rubio has since gone on to become the 72nd U.S. Secretary of State, confirmed in January 2025.

👍

A e-bike parked in a pedestrian path partially blocked access to the stairway leading to a metro bus: my left hand extending the Middle Finger of Endearment toward it

What is the objection here? I have personally been present at two incidents where e-bikers hit-and-ran pedestrians resulting in serious injuries requiring medical attention. Someone chased down one of the the e-bike riders, the other was never identified. Seems a system of identification is needed 👍

This image depicts a creative entry from The Washington Post Peeps Diorama Contest, specifically a humorous scene titled "Fluffernutter" featuring marshmallow treats. Peep dioramas are a popular annual tradition in the Washington, D.C. area where marshmallow Peeps are used to create miniature scenes. The scene prominently features Marshmallow Fluff jars, highlighting the famous "fluffernutter" sandwich combination of peanut butter and marshmallow creme. These contests often showcase elaborate and humorous interpretations of pop culture, news, or daily life scenarios. The tradition celebrates creativity using the iconic marshmallow Peeps candies typically associated with Easter.

The image features a one-gallon jug of SunnyD Tangy Original Orange Juice Drink. Flavor: Tangy and citrusy flavor profile. Nutrition: Fortified with 100% Vitamin C. Features: Contains high fructose corn syrup and water. Volume: Available in a 128 fl oz (1 gallon) bottle.

Wonder Twins...UNITE! 👍

This image shows SunnyD Vodka Seltzer (orange packaging with white and blue accents), a premixed alcoholic beverage, held in my left hand. Alcohol Content: 4.5% ABV (alcohol by volume). Calories: 95 calories per can. Sugar: 0 grams of sugar. Flavor: Tangy orange.

Sunny D...what can't it do? 👍

Pages from the Dan Simmons novel “The Rise of Endymion” with text as follows: Brothers in the Muir, res friends, Reveteds, honored TEEN, guests, beloved sentient friends, Revered One Who human guests, beloved sentient friends, Revered One Who Teaches • we shall finish this discussion at another time and in another place. I take it as a consensus of those among us Pax space in three standard days is agreed to that M. Aenea's request for the treeship Yggdrasill to depart for ...and that, with luck and courage, thus shall be fulfilled the ancient Ten-plar prophecies of the Tree of Pain and the time of Atonement for all children of Old Earth. Now we will finish our meal and speak of other things. This formal meeting is adjourned, and what remains of our short voyage must be friendly conversation, good food, and the sacrament of real coffee grown from beans harvested on Old Earth ... our common home... the good Earth. This meeting is adjourned. I have spoken. ATER THAT EVENING, IN THE WARM LIGHT OF OUR rivate cubby, Aenea and I made love, spoke of personal things, nd had a late, second supper of wine and zygoat cheese and esh bread. Aenea had gone off to the kitchen cubby for a moment and turned with two crystal bulbs of wine. Offering me one, she id, "Here, Raul, my beloved. take this and drink." "Thanks," I said without thinking and started to raise the Ib to my lips. Then I froze. "Is this. did you. • "Yes,"' said Aenea. "It is the communion that I have deed so long for you. Now it is yours if you choose to drink. you do not have to do this, my love. It will not change the • I feel about you if you choose not to." Still looking into her eyes, I drained the wine in the b d only of wine. enea was weeping. She turned her head dy seen the tears in her lovely, dark e' atad tooether in the THE RISE DF ENDYMION 551 She shook her head. "I love you, Raul." "I love you, Aenea. She kissed my neck and clung to me. "For what you have just done, for me, in my name, you will be hu…

When I read these books, almost 30 years ago now, I was mesmerized by Simmons’ world building and the love story of the last two books. Sorry, they hooked me at that age: a sci-fi damsel-in-distress who is in reality *the* savior. I look back on it now, and oh boy, dumb dumb me 👍

Various books by Dan Simmons and Neal Stephenson arranged in a circle on the floor, my Middle Finger of Endearment to the bottom left

Hmmm…👍

An advertisement in the magazine "The Weekly Standard" featuring an issue with Al Gore on the cover naked holding his hands over his nether regions with the title "EXPOSED!" above

Having flashbacks to when my wife asked me "What kind of perv magazines are you subscribing us to?" when the Al Gore "EXPOSED!" issue below arrived in the mail (I got better...taste, eventually) 👍

The items shown are paperback copies of the science fiction novels Endymion and The Rise of Endymion by Dan Simmons held in my left hand, a light brown wood & black metal seat in the background with taupe walls & gray carpet. These books constitute the third and fourth installments of the Hyperion Cantos series. The Rise of Endymion won the Locus Award for Best Science Fiction Novel in 1998. The plot follows the characters Raul Endymion and Aenea, concluding the story arc of the Hyperion saga

"It doesn't look like anything to me..." 👍

YouTube video by ALittleOfSomething KMFDM - A Drug Against War (Video)

KMFDM's catalog is just too rich in this vein unfortunately 👍

The image features Festina Pêche, a seasonal beer from Dogfish Head Brewery in a four-pack on a brown bar. Type: A "neo-Berliner Weisse" style ale. Flavor Profile: Brewed with real peach juice, it is described as sour, fruit-forward, and refreshing. Alcohol Content: 4.5% ABV. Availability: Typically released as a summer seasonal beer.

Festina lente...or something like that👍

“Someone” with their face pixelated out placing their rear end out of the passenger window of a vehicle after a hike during which they definitely consumed something akin to far too many burritos for their digestive system to handle

Definitely not wasting any of that money on “dignity” 👍

An orange road bike with blue handles in a black driveway with green lawn to the side; a Michelob Ultra bottle sitting in bottle holder in the middle of the handle bar

I know in my jurisdiction that would likely result in a citation by law enforcement (hmmm!). Maybe a stationary beer trolley of some sort that you can pedal in place? Could put it on a dyno at an automotive place. If so, I’ll allow it 👍

A blue and white cooler on wheels in a grassy area next to a pitched green and gray tent, one of our children protecting a large container of blaze orange cheesy poofs from greedy eyes & stomachs

I would have suggested utilizing a Wheelie-Cool cooler on wheels so you at least have to do the work of lugging the beer and foodstuffs around yourself, but no one said I was smart 👍

The image shows the interior of a portable toilet on a trailhead in the Shenandoah Mountains, containing a can of Lime-A-Rita and other debris in the waste tank (I removed said can and carried it out, for humorous purposes only); my blaze orange Vibram Five Fingers in the bottom foreground. Portable toilets utilize a blue deodorizing liquid to manage waste and odor. It is crucial not to dispose of trash, such as beverage cans or feminine hygiene products, into these units as they can clog pump hoses. These units require professional servicing to be emptied and cleaned.

I foresee only *one* impediment to the success of this plan 🤔

The item in the image is a red can of Mad Ballr malt beverage, 12% ABV, held in my left hand in front of a valley in the Shenandoah Mountains with low-lying clouds in the background (green foliage, gray rock). It is a 12% alcohol by volume (ABV) flavored malt beverage. The packaging features a distinct plaid design on a shrink-sleeve label. It is available in flavors such as Fruit Punch, Black N Blue Berry, and Lemonade.

While *hiking* the 10 miles? So you're threatening me with all this "training" I have done actually paying off? 👍

This image shows our refrigerator stocked with several beverage products; my left hand in the bottom left corner extending the Middle Finger of Endearment toward the items. Busch Light: A light lager beer brewed by Anheuser-Busch. It is known for having fewer calories and a lighter body compared to traditional lager. Outlaw Light: A light beer brand designed for specific regional markets or themes. White Claw Hard Seltzer: A popular alcoholic seltzer brand featuring various fruit flavors.

This image shows a Grubhub delivery order from Taco Bell for a customer named Chris (me, with my left hand held in front of the box) The order contains 25 items in total, including 12 Beef Crunchy Tacos and 12 Beef Soft Tacos. It also includes a Big Cheez-It Tostada. The order was ready for pick-up on June 27, 2024, at 11:50 PM.

Yeah, with the proviso that you get to choose which beers & which tacos, this is a walk-in-the-park 👍

YouTube video by Saturday Night Live Pirates Convention - Saturday Night Live

And that's without even getting into the "Sarsgaards" 👍

This image features a Dell monitor displaying a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet on my medium brown wooden office desk. Monitor: A Dell-branded monitor displaying data tables. Keyboard: A Lenovo-branded keyboard is visible in the foreground. Product: A 6-pack and a single bottle of Mike's Hard Watermelon Lemonade (dark pink and green accents) are placed on the desk. Setting: An office or workspace environment.

I don't know about Excel's emotional state, but this is about the only time I ever feel "good" using it 👍

This text is from the novel The Stand by Stephen King with my finger pointing to the highlighted last sentence of the novel "I don't know." The scene depicts a conversation about the destructive nature of human-made "toys" like weapons and plague. Characters Stuart and Frannie discuss whether humanity will ever learn from its past mistakes. The passage emphasizes the bleak reality of a post-apocalyptic world. Text as follows: THE STAND 11.35 "What does that mean?" "Everything," he said, and took her hand, Looking down at Peter he thought: Maybe if we tell him what happened, he'll tell his own children. Warn them. Dear children, the toys are death-they're flashburns and radiation sickness and black, choking plague. These toys are danger-ous; the devil in men's brains guided the hands of God when they were made. Don't play with these toys, dear children, please, not ever. Not ever again. Please... please learn the lesson. Let this empty world be your copybook. "Frannie," he said, and turned her around so he could look into her eyes. "What, Stuart?" "Do you think anything?" do you think people ever learn She opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, fell silent. The kerosene lamp flickered. Her eyes seemed very blue. "I don't know," she said at last. She seemed unpleased with her answer; she struggled to say something more; to illuminate her first response; and could only say it again: I don't know.

At this point, I can barely remember anything but the uncut version & the fact that some of the "cut" elements are in the mini-series has reinforced the effect. That said, in my last couple attempts at a re-read I have tapped out around the 800-page mark, so preference-wise...👍

This image shows a meal consisting of Campbells SpaghettiOs canned pasta topped with a significant amount of what appears to be dehydrated cheese powder from a bag labeled "From the Cheese Fairy" on a white kitchen countertop. Main Dish: A bowl of ring-shaped spaghetti in a tomato-based sauce, which is a common, budget-friendly comfort food. Topping: A plastic bag next to the bowl contains a bright orange powder, likely a cheese seasoning often found in macaroni and cheese kits. Context: The handwritten label "To Chris From the Cheese Fairy" suggests this may be a humorous gift or a personalized preparation.

SpaghettiOs👍

A turquoise Toyota Tacoma from the early 2000s in well-maintained condition with mildly upgraded wheels & tires on a road with green foliage in the background

Bingo 👍